Conversations with Emmett
by Ranma15177
Summary: While Edward is away hunting Bella plans to spend time learning everything there is to know about Emmett, and through him more about Edward. However, Tanya comes and disrupts the bonding. Hilarity ensues! "What do you mean he was naked?
1. A Break in the Clouds

Conversations with Emmett

A Break in the Clouds

A Twilight Fanfiction

By Ranma151773012

I always wanted to do just a fluffy piece about Emmett hanging out with Bella. Here it is.

This is from Bella's POV

I don't own Twilight, marinated steak, Halo, Master Chief, Pac-Man, Ms. Pac-Man, Utah, Bunnies, trees, bears, Family Ties, the concept of garlic-butter, classic black and white horror movie night, card tables, France, or Edward's shirt.

I know you'd all rather me update Escaping Sol…but this is what's in my mind right now. God Forbid. Emmett won't leave me alone! Let's see how many stories I can juggle at once shall we?

I was laying on my back and staring up at the clouds in the open field behind the Cullen mansion waiting for Edward to come back from his hunt with Alice, Esme, Jasper, and Rosalie. Unfortunately it was only day one of an endless three. I had stayed at home for as long as I could manage doing housework, but I had quickly run out of chores. After all, there were only so many times I could organize my sock drawer without going nuts. By three in the afternoon I had already alphabetized Charlie's video collection, marinated a steak, and reorganized the pantry. Before tackling world hunger I decided that I should seize the day and hang out at my other house doing Alice's "homework" for the wedding.

Alice had me addressing and signing "Thank You" letters. My hand was somewhat throbbing from the effort by five. Carlisle was at work saving lives. Charlie was keeping the peace. Emmett…was playing Halo.

Well, he _was_ playing Halo.

"Hey, little sis whatcha' doin? Emmett stood over me and sparkled in the sun. Blocking my view of the fluffy bunny above me.

"Solving world hunger," I replied. "My hand is on strike so the rest of my body is doing the union thing and taking a rest." I continued with a smile.

"Sounds good, but you could have come and played Halo with me. I would have kicked your butt!" Emmett crowed while sporting a very self assured smile on his face and I let out a small giggle.

"I bet you would have obliterated me…but as I just pointed out, my hand is on strike. I would have had to play with my toes. It might have been a severely unbalanced match." I answered back with my own smile.

"You really think you could beat me with the use of your hands?" Emmett asked with a self satisfied smirk.

"Not particularly." I responded back honestly.

"When you come over tomorrow we'll have to find out. Master Chief is going to show you how it's done!" Emmett flopped over on the ground his head next to mine, his body in the opposite direction. He looked over at me with a boyish grin. "So…what are you actually doing out here?"

"I'm trying to make shapes out of the clouds." I answered honestly. "See that one looked like a bunny…but now it looks more like a horse."

"Yumm. We're sky hunting." Emmett had a definite smile in his voice and I wondered if I could ever have found a better sibling if I tried. "Look…bear…mmmmm."

I saw the mass of clouds and conceded that it did look a bit like a bear, maybe more after it had been mangled. "Yeah…maybe," I said with a question in my mind. Before I could really stop myself it was on my lips as well. I turned my head and watched him watching the clouds, his skin sparkling in the places where the sun hit. "Emmett, why is it so easy for you to talk about being a vampire? Everyone else doesn't seem to want to talk about it. I think they're worried that I'm going to get scared."

Emmett looked back at me and seemed to really weigh the answer. "You're like me. Maybe not exactly like me, because you get to spend time with Edward as a human and I only got to meet Rose after my little issue with the bear, but we're the same. Humans who fall for vampires…"

I couldn't help myself, he'd left the statement so open ended, "and the vampires that love them."

"Hah! Yeah. We belong on Jerry Springer." Emmett confessed with a laugh. "Seriously, you know what you want, and you aren't looking back. There isn't anything wrong with that. It's how everyone else lives their life. The only difference is that you're going to have to take a year long sabbatical to get to the point where you aren't chasing after everything with a heartbeat."

"Is it really like that?" I asked with a small shiver of fear.

"At first. Yeah, it's just like that. I really went after EVERYTHING at first. If it had blood I had it in my mouth. Esme said I reminded her of a toddler." My large brother looked back up at the sky. "I had Rose there to keep me in check though, and even though he was really aloof at times Edward was a great help too. I love my brother, and I'm glad he has you. You're a great girl, if you weren't with Edward and I wasn't with Rose. I think I'd be after you too."

My face immediately betrayed me and I was blushing scarlet. "Thanks Emmett."

"It's true. You're a really passionate person. Unfortunately for you, you'll never know because I am with Rose and she is H-O-T!" Emmett licked his finger and made a hissing noise like a skillet. It immediately made me laugh and made me feel less awkward, which was the real reason that I loved spending time with Emmett. He was really like a brother.

"What do you think you'd be like if you never met Rosalie?" I asked as I stared back up at a cloud that looked like a big tree.

"I think I'd be really shriveled up and old. Probably playing Halo." Emmett said without any pause. "Oh, look! It's Pac-Man."

I laughed and sighed. He was actually right. It looked like Pac-Man. "Great now we have to find Inky, Blinky, Pinky, and Sue. Seriously what do you think you'd be like?"

"I don't know. She's such a huge part of who I am. Finding the other half of your soul makes you see things differently. You know that. Who are you now as opposed to who you were?" Emmett questioned back. "By the way…that's Ms. Pac-Man. The original ghost monsters were Inky, Pinky, Blinky, and Clyde."

"Really? I thought it was Sue. She was the pink one right?" I questioned.

"No…Pinky was the pink one…Go figure. Sue was orange and replaced Clyde. It was this whole failed women's lib thing." Emmett spoke dryly. "We seem to be getting off the main topic. There was a real conversation going on here somewhere."

"Sorry, I'll use my failed women's lib power and focus for you. I'm not sure I could really imagine a world without Edward in it. I would still be pretty lonely I guess. I just never felt anything for anyone before. I probably wouldn't have ever felt this way." I pointed up and said. "Utah."

"Hey…that is Utah, even has the lake. Good eyes." Emmett responded back. "What about Jacob?"

"I don't know. I love Jacob, but I don't think I would have gotten anywhere with him as we would have been. Edward taught me how to love. Jake was a nice guy, and a great friend. Something tells me we would have eventually gone that way just because of gravity. I guess. That's assuming I'd have stayed in Forks long enough to fall for him." I hated even admitting that to my brother. It felt like a betrayal of Edward.

"Sara Mae Clark." Emmett said in a small hushed voice.

"I'm sorry?" I said with a confused whisper.

"We had been pretty serious before I met Rose. Don't say anything to her about it, because we don't mention that bit of my past often, but I was almost engaged to Sara. She was something! I remember when we started going out I already had a bit of a reputation with the girls, and she had a bit of a rep with the boys. I think we both probably earned them honestly. There was nothing else to do in that town…no one should have been surprised that I was drinking, betting, and sleepin' around by the time I was fifteen." My future brother in-law looked at me with a devious grin and I looked back at him with a sheepish smile.

"So you were going to marry her?" I asked hesitantly.

"Sure, but it wouldn't have lasted. We were both too restless. I would have cheated…or she would have. Not a very good basis for a relationship." Emmett looked back up to the clouds and continued, "Rosalie settles the part of me that wanders. She keeps me honest. Not too honest…but halfway there. It's all she cares about. Hey…that one looks like Mt. Fuji."

"A bit." I confessed. "So you would have just gone from one thing to the next."

Emmett smiled wolfishly. "Look at that. Now you think I'm some kind of man-whore."

"Oh, yes." I agreed. "Emmett the man-ho." We both laughed.

"I probably would have become a logger. That's what my da' did. I was pretty good at it too, to be honest. You know we grow em' big down there in the holler, but even then I was a really large guy." My vampire brother supplied as if he were imparting secret information.

"I never would have noticed if you hadn't told me." I challenged. The breaks in the clouds were becoming less and less as the afternoon wore on and I could smell rain coming. "So why is it that you aren't ever regretful while everyone else seem to have so many reservations?"

"I miss my family. That's one of my only regrets." Emmett defended. "The McCarty clan was a big one. Three sisters and four brothers, not to mention the cousins we had. We could be our own town, but that's what living in the hills was like. Some of their kids that I watched are still alive too. My sister Carol is eighty six…but something tells me she would still know who I am. She was smart and talented, Carol was.

"The rest of our family doesn't seem to have the warm snuggly Michael P. Keaton, "Family Ties" kinds of feelings for their family that I do.

"Edward doesn't have any living family that he talks about, so I guess they don't have cousins or something in Chicago.

"Neither does Rose, but I think she blames her family for things and doesn't talk about them very often.

"Alice has a niece now I guess.

"Jasper died too long ago for that to be an issue now, but he did have a big family from what I hear. His other coven was a war-like mob made up of monsters that preyed on humans so he doesn't have the warm snuggles for them.

"Esme…well she was an only child, but I get the impression that she'd rather not think about them.

"Carlisle…God…I could be related to Carlisle…who knows? I know you've heard enough of his story to know how his family loved and supported him. I don't know how my family would take what I am…but I'm not sure it would have ended in pitchforks and torches like it would have for Carlisle if his daddy found out.

"I can't even go near my hometown for fear of seeing people alive that might recognize me. That and it's a bright shiny sunny place now that my family logged the hell out of it." Emmett finished with a smile. The clouds were now dark and slightly ominous, but it was still nice and warm outside.

"That's really great." I said with a returning lame grin. "I'm sorry you can't see them."

My brother gave me a pat on the forehead. "It's okay Bella, I'm not really all that sad about it. I got my Rose, and I get to spend an eternity trying to make her happy. It's hard to do because she isn't like you and me. She doesn't want the reality of what she is. I wish I could give her everything she wants. That's my only other regret. I wish I could give her the children she wants. It isn't in the cards for me though. It'll never be like that for us. I know it would bring her joy."

"Does it really hurt her that badly?" I asked with a tenuous look. "I don't want to pry…"

"You're my sister. It's not a crime to ask me a question. I may not always answer, but you have Edward…so you have a cheating edge." Emmett continued, "It hurts her that she can't have babies, but she's accepted it and mourned. There are times when I see it in her eyes, and I feel like I'm letting her down even though I know it's not just me."

"I think you would be an excellent set of parents…" I began, but Emmett cut me off.

"Hey…that one looks like a raindrop." Emmett pointed up. "Like lots and lots of little raindrops."

"Wha-?" A deluge started and I sat up with a watery screech. "Warn me next time!" I scolded. We headed back toward the house and Emmett picked me up like a football and ran in through the back door completely soaked. We were leaving puddles all over the floor.

"I have an idea." Emmett said with a dawning smile. "I'll get changed and get all this water up off of Esme's floor. You've never seen a conniption fit before have you? Let's not start a trend of those with Esme before you're a newborn. That might scare you away. You can put on one of Edward's shirts while you dry your clothes. I'm going to order you a pizza!"

"I can't eat a whole pizza by myself Emmett." I argued remembering that I'd marinated a steak for Charlie.

"You don't have to…I have a refrigerator Bella." He pointed to the unused shiny appliance that I had a bottle of Gatoraide in as well as a few cups of strawberry yogurt. Which I refused to explain to the rest of the family, but Edward really liked.

"Fine. I'll call Charlie and tell him how to make the steak." I sighed. Emmett was impossible to say no to when he got that kid in a candy store look.

"Come on it'll be great. We can have you chasing me around the house with the garlic butter when Carlisle comes home. It'll be awesome! I think we should have classic horror movie night too, what do you think? Pure black and white drive in classics?" He looked like he was about to bounce Alice style.

"Sure, sure." I folded like a card table…or France. "Let me get dressed."

"You know you're going to have your nose buried in his shirt all night anyway, you don't have to act nonchalant on my account." My vampire brother challenged.

"You're right." I sighed as I walked toward the living room and toward the stairs, Emmett's booming laugh following me up to Edward's room.


	2. Movies and Musings

**AN:** **A second chapter to Conversations was on my computer for weeks before I really got into it. I am incredibly sorry. I want to give a huge thank you to Cullenista for doing my beta. She's a wonderful writer, so go check out her story if you've been living in a cave and have somehow missed "Blue Moon Over Manka's." **

**This story was nominated for Best Comedy over at the Twilight Awards website. To see a list of nominees and vote, click on my Pen Name above, and that will take you to my Profile/bio page where there is a link you can click and get to the Awards site.**

**I don't own Twilight, Popcorn, Pizza, Pickled pigs feet, Gamera, Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, or night fishing.**

**Enjoy!**

**ONWITHTHESHOW!**

* * *

**_Conversations With Emmett_ by Ranma15177  
**

**Chapter 2: _Movies and Musings_**

**BPOV**

Emmett was true to his words…every one of them. Carlisle got home and I was in fact chasing him around the house with the garlic butter while we were both laughing like hyenas. Emmett would slow down just enough to pretend that I could ever catch up to him and when I tripped over the rug in the living room my future brother boomed out a huge laugh as Carlisle admonished us for running in the house with a substance that he was sure would stain Esme's rug. He muttered something about her having a conniption fit…and I really began to wonder about how bad Esme's temper could be. I'd never been on the receiving end of her wrath. I would do my best to continue that streak.

We settled down enough to clean up the pizza. Thank God Emmett hadn't ordered anything bigger than a small. I would have had leftovers until my change with the first pizza he suggested. I washed my dish despite Emmett saying he would handle it…I didn't think it would be good to leave it out, and he kind of reminded me of the sort of guy who would leave things in the sink. I didn't want everyone to come home to a three day old pizza smell. Carlisle came down the stairs soon after and we were all thrust into the depths of black and white drive-in movie night.

We watched the original Gamera first. Emmett thrust a huge bowl of popcorn into my hands with a mischievous grin and I giggled at the idea of me remotely coming close to making a dent in such a prolific amount of snacks. I was surprised when Emmett grabbed a handful of the popcorn and aimed at the monster on the screen and began pegging the rubber monster with the little popped kernels. We groaned and laughed and cried our disbelief at all the right times. Carlisle near the end of the movie grabbed his own handful of popcorn and threw it at the screen.

"Bloody rubber monsters…Emmett this film is horrible. The lips don't synch the models are horribly built and off scale. How did I miss this the first time?" My future father laughed while looking incredulously at Emmett.

"You and Esme were both out on some kind of vacation…I went with Rosalie. Although, I don't remember much of the movie if you want to get technical…"

"Please Emmett, anything you might say at this point is more damning. I must let you know Bella, we're huge fans of awful films, Emmett and I. The worse it gets the more we enjoy ourselves. Perfection is overrated." Carlisle laughed as he admitted this. "Everyone else in the house is either indifferent to our hobby, or they avoid it. Edward is not a fan of B Movie night…what about yourself?" Both vampires looked at me expectantly.

"I'll peacefully join your ranks." I admitted. "That was fun."

"Don't worry. Rosalie hasn't left me over B Movie night yet…so you probably have very little to worry about." Emmett crowed a laugh as he got up. "Next…"Attack of the 50 Foot Woman!" This is a classic Bella. 1958! Allison Hayes."

"Ah, yes, Allison Hayes. She was one gorgeous woman." Carlisle interjected. Once again we were brought back to the 50's black and white drive in movie era.

Much later in the film we were all making comments and laughing. "She reminds me a little of Rose when she's angry." Emmett supplied while we watched.

"The actress…or the character?" I asked with a smile. Both my future brother and my future father began to laugh. I was apparently getting the hang of B Movie night.

We watched two more movies before I fell asleep on the couch between the other revelers.

I awoke to the sun streaming through Edward's windows still wearing my future husband's shirt lying under the gold covers. At some point in the evening I had been moved to Edward's bed, although I couldn't be sure when and I was still wrapped in the blanket I'd been in on the couch. I'd had an amazing time with Carlisle and Emmett laughing at horrible movies. I felt a bit like they'd already accepted me into the family with this little ritual. That made me smile.

Unfortunately I quickly realized that I wasn't sure where my phone was and that Edward was supposed to call me this morning. Suddenly my little silver phone was ringing and I was grabbing it from the table next to me.

"Good morning love." Edward's voice filled me with the feeling of fluttery butterflies in my stomach and I flopped backward down onto the bed. "You should thank Emmett for giving you your cell phone this morning. He's the voice that answered when I called earlier. He informs me that he's introduced you to the strangeness of B Movie night. I wondered what had Alice giggling all evening. Now I know."

"It was fun!" I defended. "Besides, you want me to bond don't you?"

"Of course love. I just don't want your brain to melt or atrophy because you're making an attempt to bond with Carlisle and Emmett." The laugh in his voice told me that he found the whole situation humorous.

"Hey, it's nice to know that I have something in common with your father other than the emergency room." I quipped back.

"While I'm gone I expect you to stay out of that particular destination if that's alright with you." Edward admonished.

My laugh filled the room and seemed to make Edward happy because he joined in quickly. "I'll do my best, Love. I figure I have a fifty-fifty shot at that either way."

"That doesn't mean you can't be extra careful for my sake…" His voice trailed off and was muffled for a second and then I heard him more clearly, "Alice, why are you singing "My Boyfriend's Back" in Yiddish?" I heard a growl that quickly turned into what sounded like rushing wind and then Edward's voice was back. "What you're wearing right now should be illegal. I'm jealous of them."

"Don't be, I was in a blanket all night." I answered back.

"Regardless…Please wear my shirts more often, and when I can see. I got an overwhelming desire to come home just now to see you in person." His words were whispered and obviously meant for me to hear only. "I am going to get rid of every bit of night attire you own so that you are forced to borrow my shirts every night. Do you have any idea how sexy it is to see you like that?" I blushed scarlet at the implication. He mumbled the next words but I made them out regardless, "Your scent wrapped in mine…"

"All right kids! Phone time is over!" Emmett grabbed my cell from my almost limp fingers. I was too shocked by his sudden presence to fight back, but even if I had known he was there my insides had all turned to liquid-y goo from Edward's conversation.

"Edward…I'm surprised at you. The poor girl looks like she's been scandalized! What did you say to…No I'm not putting her back on. You know, my fantasies of my woman occur with the clothes off. Even your wet dreams are PG-13…No, I'm saying you're a prude! Fine…Here you go!" Emmett handed me back the phone with a wink.

"I'm sorry about that Bella. Do you want me to come home? I hope Emmett didn't make you uncomfortable…" Edward sounded genuinely concerned. I wasn't some fainting damsel for goodness sake…I could handle a little innuendo. I was weeks away from getting married!

"Edward, don't be ridiculous! I'm fine. I always want you home…but this is important. We've got a lot of family functions going on in the next couple of weeks and I don't want anyone snacking on any of my tasty relatives." I interjected while Emmett started to laugh. "If I didn't know better…I'd think that Alice had shown you what was under the shirt." My future brother immediately stopped laughing and stared with a grin, probably to hear better.

"Excuse me?" Edward seemed not just shocked by my turn in the conversation but hesitant to even admit he'd asked. The second question came out a whisper, "What…what is under the…?"

"Nothing Edward…absolutely nothing," I let the comment hang in the air for a second, "Speaking of which I need my human moment and to get dressed. Emmett…get out."

"Right-o!" The door closed at such a speed and with such a bang that I knew he'd done it so that Edward wouldn't be too uncomfortable. "Your clothes are on Edward's couch!"

"You are absolutely dangerous…do you know that my darling?" My love spoke with a hushed growl in his voice that I knew wasn't anger.

I smiled and lay back against the pillows on the bed as I enquired, "More dangerous than you?"

"A million times, I'm only a vampire. You are a goddess." He breathed into the phone and I shuddered with the way his voice sounded. I imagined the look in his eyes. "Are you sure you don't want me to come home. It could be purely recreational. I'm only waiting on your word love and I will do anything you ask of me."

My eyes rolled into the back of my head and my toes curled at the very idea of Edward coming home and ravishing me. Control Bella! We're doing this the right way…no matter how frustrated it makes you! I answered his question after a few moments of silence as I had been truly considering it. "No, you need to hunt and spend time with your family. I have to address more envelopes and Emmett has two more brother sister bonding days to work through."

"One and a half my darling, you've slept half the day away. If he makes you feel in the least bit uncomfortable I'll tear his arms off." It was said by Edward with only a little bit of humor.

"Don't do that Edward…think of the whining." I heard Alice's voice in the background. I think my hearing must be getting better being with all these vampires.

"I love you Edward." I smiled at the simple phrase and stared at my ring.

"I love you too. I'll be home before you know it. If you need me just call. I won't turn off my phone." Edward assured me.

"You two are so cute!" Alice cried in the background. "Especially now that you've decided that you're not going to go against all my plans!" I knew Alice intended for me to hear her that time.

"No problem Alice. I love all of you, and I'll see you again soon. Bye Edward." I whispered not wanting to hang up.

"Bye Love. Never soon enough," Edward replied. I closed the phone and hugged it to myself for a second kind of hoping that Alice would share a vision of that with Edward.

I placed my phone on the nightstand and launched myself off the bed for my morning ritual. I showered quickly, brushed my teeth and hair, and hopped into my laundered clothes. Edward and Alice both had been slowly adding things to the house for my use. It was honestly really sweet to see my toothbrush in Edward's bathroom…that would be mine too soon. Emmett had been nice enough to wash everything and it made me feel at home.

After having some yogurt for breakfast I went back to Alice's room to tackle the task of the Thank You envelopes and then began my second assignment. Alice had me tying tulle around the bubbles that she insisted was safer for me than bird seed. I didn't ask…but I thought she might have seen a future in which I slipped on bird seed and died.

"Why is Alice making you do that stuff? It takes you ten times longer than it would take her." Emmett surprised me and I nearly dropped my current bubble jar.

"I don't know Emmett. I suppose she wants me to feel like I'm part of the process." I admitted.

He shook his head and held out his hand. "Let's go on a walk. You need to stretch your legs a bit…and I need to get out of the house. This place is dead, and I'm an expert on that."

I laughingly agreed and my brother helped me to stand and maneuver around the sea of tulle and ribbon. We walked down the stairs and I felt the cramped muscles in my legs begin to loosen up. We were both walking down the stairs when I realized that it was very bright outside. The sun was full in the sky and it made Emmett's skin sparkle like diamonds.

"Hey Bella," Emmett asked with a concerned look.

"Hey Emmett," I responded back with a repeat of his statement.

"What's Edward like when you're together?" His eyes were earnest and so I knew he wasn't making a joke or teasing me. Not that I didn't think it was an eventuality.

"Why?" I asked him to clarify. I didn't want to give him any ammunition against my fiancée.

Emmett strolled along next to me at a comfortable pace as we headed back toward the Sol Duc River, and seemed to give his answer some thought before he answered. "I've known him for a really long time. I know Edward as a person…but I don't think I've ever really known who he was. He was always withdrawn and aloof. He would smile when the occasion called for it…but he didn't have any sort of joy. It's kind of like he's been in a stasis for all of this time. Taking in knowledge and events, but never living."

"Everyone tells me that he's changed a lot, but I can't know anything beyond the changes I've seen for myself." I shrugged as I spoke and my brother nodded his head in understanding.

"Your heart, it beats for him you know, like he's human because you are. Ever since that first day I knew that you were special, and not just because you're the first person to scare a vampire away. I've never seen anything like that before." He ruffled my hair and I squawked indignantly.

"When Edward left for Denali…it was the first real emotion he'd shown in forever…and it was so strong that it caused him to alter himself. He was drawn to you like a magnet. I knew it wouldn't be long. I knew you were meant for him." Emmett patted me on the shoulder and I stumbled from the force. "Sorry," my brother apologized with a sheepish smile, "it's really easy for me to forget that you're human sometimes."

"That's okay. Thank you Emmett. That's really nice of you to say." I admitted. "Both things."

"No problem. In the end, the only regret I have is letting him leave you here alone. I should have forced him to stay. You were both so miserable, and yeah in its own way misery is better than feeling nothing, but I knew he'd come back. You two are like me and Rose…you wither when you're away from each other." Emmett skipped a large rock across the face of the water as we stopped.

"It isn't your fault Emmett. I don't really blame anyone. Jasper wasn't at fault. Alice wasn't…Edward was only doing what he thought would protect me. In the end, he's at my side now, so why dwell on the past." I drew a small circle in the dirt with the toe of my shoe as I spoke, trying not to dredge up any of the feelings that accompanied being without Edward while he was out of town.

"I still blame Edward." Emmett said with a scowl. "I'm your brother, when he told us that we had to leave you too I should have just hit him and said no."

"It sounds like you're blaming yourself to me." I hedged.

"Crap. You noticed that?" Emmett gave me a weak smile. "Look kid, I just didn't know what to think. Rosalie said that it was for the best, and if Edward was leaving there was no reason for us to stay. It seemed like it would hurt less for you if we weren't there as constant reminders. If it makes you feel better I was depressed as hell."

"I'm sure you had your reasons at the time. Don't think about it Emmett, I don't like to, and you shouldn't blame yourself for things that you can't control." I whispered watching the water and holding back my emotions as best I could.

Emmett shrugged. "If that's the way you feel about it. You know you're far too forgiving. I would have raked him across the coals if it were me."

I was surprised that Emmett felt that I should have hurt him when he returned. "You really think I could have done any more harm? Emmett…I love Edward very much...and the pain he was already suffering was far worse than anything I could concoct. I didn't have to do anything overt. Leaving him in a room with Charlie for more than two seconds was torture…because he could see all of my pain. It was laid bare and raw in his own mind. I couldn't possibly make that any worse."

"Nothing is ever simple is it Bella?" Emmett asked as he dragged over a tree to sit on. The fact that I didn't look at him strange implied to me that I was finally getting used to the quirks of my future family.

"I don't think anyone in our family got a get out of jail free card Emmett…if they did…they're hiding it really well." I supplied.

"Did you know how completely amazing you are?" My brother asked as he patted the bleached wood next to him. I sat down with very little coaxing. "You've drawn us together in ways I didn't know we were falling apart. Rose and I went on a trip after your first accident." Emmett grabbed my arm and pointed to my scar. I looked at the half moon of healed skin and shivered a bit in unmistakable fear, even my heart picked up. "I'm sorry…does it hurt?"

"No. Not really. I guess I have pre-vampire jitters." I said with a nervous laugh.

"That's understandable. It hurts like hell…and you're a volunteer!" Emmett laughed in return, a genuine booming laugh that filled the air and removed the tension in my shoulders.

I gave a mock glare to my future family member. "You make me sound like a crazy person."

Emmett nodded his head. "Oh, I think you're crazy all right. Just crazy enough to get everything you never needed but can't live without. See, like I said, me and Rose went on one of our vacations. Usually we just get out of the house to do something to break up the monotony, but this is the first time that Rose has ever left the family in protest. I went with her because I wanted to have the opportunity to talk some sense into her. I've never had such a long fight with Rose. Not even when I got us into trouble when I ate a townie, and that made her pretty furious."

It was easy to forget sometimes that Emmett was a vampire, and I admit that his comment made me nervous. I hadn't thought of Emmett as a huge sinister creature since the very beginning, and even then he was just a really huge guy as far as I knew…not a vampire yet. He continued, "She and I are still having this argument, and we'll have it when she gets back from her trip this weekend."

"Am I hurting your marriage Emmett?" I was shocked and alarmed at the prospect of being a home wrecker.

"Hell no, it would take a lot more than you to do damage to us. Rose doesn't want you…no, let me rephrase that, because at the time it was different. You had a future, and a family that really loved you, for no reason than who you were. You didn't have to marry a bank owner's son, or anyone at all, and they would love you. She thought you were selfish, and that you were giving up more than you understood. On the other hand Rosalie had never seen Edward so happy and so completely sad all at the same time. Rose never wanted anything from Edward…and he was the same…but the rejection stung for the first time because you made him fall in love with you so effortlessly."

"I know she doesn't feel the same way as I do about Edward. Why does it matter who he loves at all?" I asked with real interest.

"First, Edward is still Rosalie's brother. Don't ever forget that or you may find yourself on the other side of her wrath. She's protective…she always saw him as a boy that died before he could ever grow up. He never took any interest in any girls and kept to himself. Second, she wants everyone to be happy. She just can't understand how anyone could be happy in a situation she isn't happy with. Only after you saved her brother from the Volturi did she see you clearly, and even then she wanted you to run from us.

"I can't live without him…" I interjected.

My brother shook his head in agreement and continued, "When Alice told us that you still believed Edward didn't want you and risked your life in spite of it…Rose finally started to get it. She still doesn't know why you want to be like us. My wife empathized about one thing in Edward that none of us did in the same way as herself. He was a shell, just like Rose in the beginning. He wanted to die, and he couldn't, and it had been a century of that. Just emptiness…"

I shuddered out a strangled sob that I had tried to contain and I threw my hands over my mouth as tears rolled down my cheek. Emmett looked like he was about to apologize and I placed my hand on his shoulder and shook my head as I swiped away the traitor tears. "Sometimes I forget, I suppose it's part of my being human, but sometimes I forget how long Edward has been alone. I know he's suffered, I know he's killed, and he sees himself as such a monster…"

"See, that's the second thing that Rose doesn't get. You know Edward…you understand him…and you've long since forgiven him. You're the first person that's ever gotten him to open up, and Rosalie was jealous that she, in all that time, never even had a fraction of the success. Edward deflects help, he avoids any attempts to take away that pain, and because he's able to read minds he can do a very thorough job of it." Emmett smiled at me and patted me on the head again.

"You're his own personal miracle, and it made Rose angry. You know what? You're really easy to talk to. Can you keep a secret Bella?" Emmett asked with a serious look on his face one that I almost never saw on him unless he was fighting.

"I'll do my very best Emmett. I'm not in the habit of sharing other people's secrets." I confided.

"When I overheard Rosalie's reasons for turning me…I nearly left her. No one ever told her, I'm sure of that because we've never talked about it. Although I'm certain that Edward knows, and because Edward knows so does Carlisle. That's how that works by the way just in case you're getting any funny notions about how the family dynamic goes. Esme is Carlisle's wife and a mother to us all, but Edward is Carlisle's first companion, and they are very close. You'll be just as subject as the rest of us to their meddling, in fact you already are because you're their favorite debate." I blushed scarlet at Emmett's suggestion and he gave me a half smile.

My brother continued talking after a second, "Rose was talking to Esme one day and it just came out. I knew most of it…but when she said that I reminded her of her pain everyday…I nearly left." My brother threw another rock, but this time it was with real force, and it buried itself in a tree across the river from us. The sound was like a shotgun going off and I jumped.

Emmett hung his head as his words grew melancholy, as if this was yesterday and not the maybe thirty or so years ago that it had been. "I had a whole plan worked out in seconds. I didn't want to be the cause of my angel's pain. I was a source of her greatest anguish. It was the most horrifying realization I'd ever had. All along I thought that everything between us was honest, and Rose was lying from day one."

Another rock sailed and crashed into the other turning it to dust but this time I was ready for the noise and didn't react. Emmett continued, "I was hurt, and angry, and I wanted to run from it. Edward was the one that stopped me. I'd never seen him so furious and full of emotion since I had joined the family. It was a complete surprise when we went hunting the next day. He literally picked me up and slammed me into the side of the cliff we were by and he gave me an ultimatum.

"Edward is just as protective of Rosalie as she is of him. He was shaking he was so furious. He said that I could either turn around, go home, and tell my wife that I loved her. Or he could go home, tell the family there was a horrible accident and that I had died." Emmett started to laugh and I did too.

"Were you afraid of him? I figured that you could beat Edward in a fight." I admitted honestly.

Emmett shook his head. "Not that day. His eyes were so serious, like I'd committed some horrible sin. Hell, in his eyes maybe I had. You never have to wonder about Edward's devotion. It's as pure as he is." Emmett laughed aloud and I frowned.

"Why do you put him down for being…umm…" I could hardly say something like that to Emmett. "Why is everyone so negative about Edward being…"

"A virgin?" Emmett supplied with a huge smile. "Honestly? It's because he's so defensive about it now. Nobody in the house would say a word if it didn't bother him so much. It didn't use to, so it's a novelty."

"What do you mean?" I asked again with interest as my stomach made itself known.

"How about we grab you a sandwich and discuss this over "lunch?" Emmett threw me over his shoulder and ran back toward the house.

"Why?" I asked with sarcasm dripping on every word. "Are you feeling peckish?"

"You better hope not kid." The comment was said in jest and Emmett laughed in a comfortable manner, but the concept was disconcerting to me as we made our way back to the house on the hill. The sun was starting its decent and the orange and pink of sunset was beginning to wane, twilight was upon us as we reached the steps.

"What time is it Emmett? I need to talk to Charlie." I spent the night last night and thought that I might want to go home to spend some time with my father.

"Beer-thirty!" My big brother answered with a gale of laughter.

"Must you Emmett?" Carlisle admonished. He was in casual clothes, although I had no idea how long he'd been here since they were super fast and a change in clothes was no indication on the amount of time they'd been home. "Hello Bella dear, it's eight seventeen. I spoke with Charlie just a few minutes ago. I knew you were on property, but I didn't want to interrupt your conversation, so I told him that you'd call back. I hope that wasn't presumptuous of me."

"Not at all, but I really should go home and make dinner." I responded.

"Actually he's eating the leftover steak and suggested that you stay here again tonight so that he can go night fishing. I'm probably going to join him for a few hours." Carlisle added, and I finally noticed the fishing equipment by the door. The look I gave must have been one of shock because Carlisle began to chuckle a bit. "Bella, it's absolutely normal for in-laws to get to know each other. I think it will be quite enjoyable. Would you like to come with us?"

"Nope!" I answered quickly. "I'm lethal with a fishing pole. We'd have a hard time explaining your lack of holes after the tenth time of me hooking you."

My future father laughed heartily at my admission, "Very good, Emmett?" Did they really feel comfortable enough with me to leave me alone in their home? Of course they did…I was family. I warmed at the thought.

"Nah, you know how accident prone Edward's fiancée is. We'd be gone three hours and the house would be burned down. Besides, I've never been keen on fishing. Fishing is for people with patience," Emmett concluded.

I giggled at the thought of my large brother with the tiny pole in his hand looking bored out of his mind. "First, I don't call you Rosalie's husband…just…ick! Second, no one would ever accuse you of having focus." I muttered acerbically.

"Look how mean she is to me! See that, it's started already! She's like Edward 2!" Emmett complained to his father figure.

"Bella, Emmett is a very fragile young man." Carlisle scolded, but with a smirk on his face.

"Great…now I remember where Edward gets it." My large "fragile" brother complained. "Well, guess who's getting peanut butter and tuna for dinner." Emmett ran into the kitchen and I chased after him while Carlisle rolled his eyes at us and gathered his equipment to go "bond" with Charlie.

"I went to the store earlier and picked you up some stuff." Emmett muttered as he opened the fridge and I kind of stood there in shocked wonder.

"Did you leave anything on the shelves at the store?" I asked quietly.

"A couple things, I remembered that there were a few items that were usually pretty strictly country foods. Pickled eggs, pickled beets, pickled pigs feet. You know, anything that starts with the word pickle. Except the actual pickles…which are, apparently, kosher." My brother grabbed a jar of pickles off the shelf and handed it to me.

I unscrewed the top and grabbed a spear from its depths and took a bite savoring its briny goodness. I spoke around my mouthful of pickle, "You didn't happen to get turkey and cheese did you?" I asked with hopeful curiosity.

Emmett held up two deli bags, "Smoked, or honey glazed?"

"Smoked I suppose…" I answered while Emmett handed me a block of sharp cheddar.

My future brother in-law went to grab me plates and threw a loaf of wheat bread on the counter. "All of this is really strange. I really believed my sandwich making days were over when I became a vampire. Now, I'm aiding and abetting a sandwich creation in my very own house."

He grabbed me a knife while I retrieved a container of mustard from my now ridiculously stocked fridge. I smiled sarcastically and added. "Perish the thought. You're a sandwich felon."

"Stand back Bella. I'm going to make you a sandwich. You'll get less time if you're an accessory after the fact!" Emmett pushed me out of the way and I tried to shove back only to be met with my brother's incredibly huge body in my way.

"Hey! You make a better door than a sandwich artist!" I admonished. Emmett turned around with a perfect, albeit huge, sandwich in his hand. It looked a little like a piece of art. Something that was made perfectly for a camera shoot and not consumption, I quickly found my voice to give him a compliment, "I lied. You're a sandwich artist."

"It's all in the materials." The gentle giant explained. "How about you sit down there at the counter and we can finish our talk. You should go to bed before three tonight too. You know, Edward threatened me, that means I could still lose my arms. I'm kind of attached to them myself." Emmett wiggled his brows and I laughed as I sat.

"You were going to explain the whole novelty of…" I began.

"Edward's driven snow white purity!" Emmett finished for me with a wide smile.

I gave him a very cross look and my brother seemed to wither a bit from his mockery. "I don't think it's very funny."

The man standing beside me sat down heavily in the stool next to me and gave a sheepish smile. "Don't be mad Bella, It's not that I'm doing it to be mean, because it's like I've said. I'm just getting the whole thing out of my system. Edward never used to care. It didn't bother him that he wasn't having a physical relationship, so it would be like making fun of a disinterested post. Now though…even Carlisle will get in a dig or two. It's just different. He's different.

"I probably don't help much with that." I admitted with a grimace.

"That would be a resounding no." Emmett laughed a booming unrepentant laugh. "He's frustrated as hell, Jasper's been threatening Alice with moving out till the wedding since Edward is so high strung…not to mention how you feel."

I blushed and I felt like I could heat a room with it. "I don't mean to be trouble for him." I whispered as I wished I could fall through the floor.

My brother seemed to weigh his answer carefully. "The only trouble you've ever caused Edward is about his moral compass. What's right and what's wrong. You've got to know how much he's kicking himself by now for not giving in to you earlier. He respects the decision you made to wait until after the wedding, but it's given him a serious case of sexual angst."

I froze. Everyone knew about that? Of course everyone knew! Alice could have just accidentally seen me throwing myself at Edward in his room that night. Emmett had said that I was Edward and Carlisle's favorite debate! I wanted to curl into a ball and die.

"Don't get all shy about it, it's only natural that the two of you should be intimate." Emmett blew it off like it was nothing. "I won't make fun of you. I'm only getting my digs in because for fifty years Edward gave me lots of interesting theories."

"Like?" I prompted.

"For example? Don't get mad at me now…" My brother trailed off and waited for me to nod my head. "At first I wondered if he might not be a bit gay."

My eyes went incredibly wide and I choked on my sandwich resulting in a full glass of water being thrust into my hands while Emmett hit me on the back. I coughed like an old person and tried to get my air passages open. Once my throat was clear I took a long pull off the water and then immediately took a deep breath. "Emmett!" I couldn't formulate anything else to say.

"What? He's pretty. He's musical. He's a little anal retentive. I'm just saying." My brother defended his assertion as I blinked owlishly. "It wouldn't have bothered any of us if he was. We're pretty open minded people, you know, considering our diet and personal habits. For example, I admit, Rose and I am a bit exhibitionist."

I felt like I should defend my fiancée's masculinity, but at the same time, what was the difference right? Still, I wondered why Emmett would think Edward was gay. "Why…?"

My brother began before I even formulated the question fully. "First, because I can't understand why anyone would pass up the chance to sleep with Rosalie, we've been over this, she's smoking hot. Second…Tanya."

My mouth immediately went dry and I must have paled because Emmett looked a little concerned. I wanted to croak out a question…or any kind of noise but I couldn't get out any sounds over the lump in my throat.

"I don't want to scare you, but I'm pretty sure you know about the Denali clan," he prompted, and I nodded. "Well, I won't be condescending; you know what a succubus is." I blinked and nodded weakly. This was a nightmare. Emmett wouldn't hold anything back, he was so blunt. I was terrified of his next words before they even came out. "If there was no Rosalie and Tanya would have come on to me, I would probably have just gone with the flow. Hell, I might have done it anyway! Fortunately for me, Tanya also has scruples and doesn't pick on married men."

I still couldn't form words, and my future brother-in-law took that as permission to continue. "With how often she asserted her charms on Edward I was sure they would end up in her room eventually. That first year I didn't believe him when he said they shared a platonic relationship. Who has a 'just friends' relationship with someone that sexy? When I figured out he wasn't just being modest I nearly flipped out. Either way, he's my brother, I was contemplating good boyfriends for him but Edward walks into the room, filled with our family, and the entire Denali Clan and shouts into my face. "I'm NOT gay!" then he turns on his heel and walks out!" My huge brother started to laugh with this last exclamation, and I soon joined him. The picture he painted was very Edward.

"I didn't particularly believe him, so the next time we came to visit I tried very hard to help Tanya bed Edward." The look he gave me was apologetic. "See, succubae have powerful abilities…they are able to persuade men to make love to them, usually."

I kind of wanted to know, and I kind of didn't. Why was I always walking in where angels feared to tread? "What do you mean by usually?"

Emmett hesitated for a second. "Well, because Tanya had to REALLY focus with Edward. His ability to read minds kind of derailed her skills. If she even stopped for a fraction of a second Edward came out of the trance. It's kind of funny to watch, but other than making your fiancée really angry, we didn't accomplish too much."

A very small part of me wanted to know how far they had gotten, but just as I was about to ask, I felt my cell phone vibrate from my pocket at the same time that Emmett's began to chime. I looked at my phone and it said: Alice. Emmett had already flipped his open, and whoever was on the other end…was shouting. I opened my phone with distinct curiosity.

"Bella. I want you to take a deep breath, count to ten, and forgive your future husband." Alice's voice was wavering.

"What? Why?" I questioned.

Emmett's voice boomed over my own questions, "Yeah, well she doesn't seem angry! Tanya never got you into the sack, what are you worried about? So what if she got you naked…No, I take full responsibility, and I was going to tell her that too. Oh, yeah…oh, well I know the great and wonderful Edward is never guilty of anything. You know what, I bet you haven't told her you sent an invitation to that mangy dog of hers yet! Maybe that has something to do with him running off?"

My hand shook. The shock was just too much. I had been worried about Jacob for weeks now because there had been no word about him since I broke his heart. No one had told me that he'd taken off! Now I shuddered with guilt. Tears were rolling down my face and I knew the look plastered on it was one of horrified disbelief. Emmett had a look of someone that had just made a colossal mistake. I heard Alice speaking over the phone, but it sounded like mumbling so I just closed the phone and it dropped from my fingers as if they were boneless.

I wasn't sure if I could stay upright on the chair I was on and went to sit in the living room. Some sex crazed, man manipulating, succubus had seen my future husband naked before me. My best friend had run off because I had run him out of town! I took two steps and my legs gave out. I think I might be hyperventilating. Emmett cursed loudly and caught me before I could crash against the floor.

The doorbell rang, and I felt us fly through the house. "Are you guys coming home? No, you don't need to. I've got everything under control. I'll explain everything, I promise. I'm sorry Edward. I didn't mean to make things hard on you. I think Bella's going to be okay, she's just freaking out a little. Do you want to talk to Edward?" Emmett moved me into a standing position and offered me the phone, which I rejected. I couldn't even hardly stand on my own power, I wasn't going to talk on the phone. "Here let me just get the door."

The door opened and I heard Emmett gasp a bit before it was open completely and then he quickly spoke into the phone, "come home, _now_, please."

Three unearthly beautiful women were standing in front of me, one of them with long strawberry blonde hair. My brain made the leap of logic before I could stand the thought. The Denali coven was here. The woman before me that looked like a super model was the woman who had been with my future husband naked. I stared at her for a long moment, sized myself up in accordance and fainted dead away. The last sound I comprehended was loud cursing from Emmett and I felt how very hard the wood floors in their house were.

* * *

**AN: Dun dun dun... I know you want to know what happens next, but if I made you laugh in this chapter, how about leaving a review and letting me know... **

**Thanks for reading!**


	3. Blood and Guts

**AN: Hey everyone! I've been typing up a storm! I finished up chapter 9 of "Making A Home" which is my Carlisle and Esme fic that I would love all of you to check out, and now I'm on to Emmett! He was kind of sparing in this chapter, but I swear you're going to see a lot of him in this fic…which really explains the title. LOL!**

**Either way, I want to say a big thanks to Cullenista who wrote the award winning story "Blue Moon Over Manka's" who is my wonderful beta. She keeps me honest…and using commas. She's going to be joined by the lovely Tammy, who is also working with me to write a YA version of "Escaping Sol." Last and certainly not least I want to say a thank you to all the other Twilight Moms who have been lovely about talking up this fic. I'm really flattered that you like it!**

**Now that I've done all of that!**

**OnWithTheChapter!**

* * *

**_Conversations With Emmett_ by Ranma15177  
**

**Chapter 3: _Blood and Guts_**

**BPOV:**

I heard the world come back before I saw it. The room was seemingly alive with activity and I could hear the voices around me. Some with concern, and some with humor. I tried to pick them out, and Emmett's was the first concrete voice I heard that had a name.

"Are you nuts? If Edward gets back to this house and she's still in la-la land and looking this gruesome he's going to tear you into tiny bits, remove your head, and laugh while he sets fire to it!" Emmett seemed to be seriously worried about his potential future.

"She'll be up and around in no time. I just gave her a bit of the dazzle, she should know what she's up against…" The voice must have been Tanya's because it was throaty and sexy and I hated her more by the second.

I heard Emmett give a sigh, "I assure you Tanya, there isn't any competition going on in this house. The game is over. There wasn't even a second team on the field. It's decided." I heard a towel wring out and cool pressure was at my nose as someone hissed.

"Look at how frail she is! How is he going to enjoy himself with her?" Tanya asked with what sounded almost like genuine concern. "Poor Kate had to go outside to get away from all the blood!"

"That's none of our business. I'm sure he'll figure out something." Emmett's comment sounded really sarcastic. I wanted to hug him. At least I knew, in the "competition" that was about to take place I had a proper cheering section. I heard the door open and close and I realized that I had been moved to the couch. A cold washcloth or something wet and cold was over my eyes and I was definitely propped in a sitting position as I could also feel my world tilting at an unusual angle. The smell of blood was extremely strong in my nose… it made me want to vomit.

"I wasn't even gone for fifteen minutes!" Carlisle's voice admonished. "Oh, goodness… here let me help you Emmett. Well done… what a mess! Hello Elezar, Irina, Tanya, how are you?" I could hear a small bit of pleasant strain coming from my future father-in-law. Things were still tense between the Cullen family and the Denali Coven…and it was no question that it was my fault. Not to mention that I was obviously bleeding.

"We're well, although our presence here wasn't entirely expected." A voice that must have been Elezar commented dryly. "Although, I believe that SOMEONE just knows how to manipulate Alice's visions…so she does."

"I wanted it to be a surprise!" The voice that I knew now was Tanya's exclaimed in a way that I supposed was said to clear her of all wrongdoing. I wasn't convinced.

"I can see that your surprise was incredibly successful," Carlisle commented as I heard his voice come closer. "Bella isn't in the habit of fainting…I assume there is a reason she's gone over and hit her head?"

Emmett quickly answered, "She got the news about the reason for Jacob's disappearance and met Tanya at the same time while Tanya attempted to give her a bit of her manipulation. It ended badly. I just wish I would have had the opportunity to catch her before she did the face plant."

I groaned. It was the only reaction I was able to muster at the moment. Who decided that the body's natural reaction to losing consciousness should be in the face first position? It was a horrible response! If I ever got to meet God I was putting in a formal grievance. My nose would put in the first complaint…it was probably broken.

"Bella? Are you awake?" It was a very concerned Emmett, although he had to have been across the room.

I made a non-committal noise in the back of my throat…which I knew he would hear. Suddenly I smelled bleach around the strong scent of blood and realized that someone was cleaning up the mess. Carlisle had in the meantime removed the rag from my head and was checking my nose while periodically cleaning the mess that it was still producing.

"Can you open your eyes for me dear?" Carlisle asked with a smile in his voice.

I fought with my eyes to open…something made them want to remain shut. When the room finally fell into sharp focus I realized that I was a mess again. Not rain this time, but blood was everywhere…even on Esme's white carpet. I shuddered. There was no way I could avoid the fallout from that! I was nauseous from the blood still leaking from my nose and I wanted everyone to stop staring at me very badly.

"I'm taking her up to Edward's bathroom. Emmett please try to clear off the mess…I don't want Edward coming home to this. He'll be impossible." Carlisle spoke with amusement, and clinical distraction. "It isn't broken. Let's get you upstairs." He lifted me without any preamble and addressed the room at large. "Please excuse me, we'll return in a bit, and I promise that we'll talk then. Emmett…clean the carpet before your mother gets home or I'll never hear the end of it and Tanya won't be safe in the house."

We traveled up the stairs of the dark house at a very fast speed and I found myself sitting once again, this time on the closed lid of the toilet in Edward's bathroom. "Can Emmett just leave the carpet? I don't want Tanya safe in the house." I mumbled.

Carlisle gave a genuine throaty laugh. "Well, I suppose we could leave a bit." I could see that he was almost serious. "How are you feeling? I'm very sorry that Tanya did that to you. I think you would have been fine otherwise, and I'm kind of upset that she would manipulate you like that. Edward is going to be livid."

"I'm pretty livid," I responded while holding a cloth to my nose as the flow was lessening. "I'm sorry I got blood all over your house again. I don't know what's up with me and bleeding all over the place. I promise to stop that as soon as I can."

Carlisle patted me on the head as I made reference to my change. "I'll hold you to that." The young doctor smiled at me. I took a breath and was pleased that I didn't feel the dripping sensation any longer. Carlisle handed me a cup full of water and I rinsed my mouth and spit the contents back into the sink.

I stood with Carlisle's aid and turned the cold water on full blast and cupped my hands under the faucet and let the clear, cool, liquid run into them. I felt Carlisle hold my hair back as I splashed the contents on my face. I repeated the action multiple times and when I came back up I was surprised to see Emmett standing next to me instead of Carlisle.

"I asked Carlisle to play the good host while we wait for World War Three to erupt downstairs. Alice called ahead. They're going to be here in about ten minutes, and she suggested that it would be best for me if it looked like I was making less of an ass of myself." Emmett explained.

I laughed and began to towel off my face. "Thank you for taking care of me Emmett. I know that was probably hard on you." I looked away sheepishly.

"Nothing big. I just stopped breathing the second you hit the floor. I figured it was you." My large brother admitted.

"Probably the best assumption you could make, considering," I commented. "Could you bring me Edward's shirt? This one is pretty ruined."

Emmett nodded his head and was out of the bathroom before I could give him my thanks. He had returned seconds later. "At least this way Edward gets to see you in person this way…not that I want to encourage any deep physical feelings he might have for you. Not with a bunch of supposed Succubae in the house."

"Gee…you think?" I asked with a roll of my eyes. "Thank you for sticking up for me downstairs. I heard all of that…I just couldn't respond yet. That was nice of you. I never would have had the guts to stick up for myself."

Emmett gave my hair a pat, "You don't think enough of yourself. I know you'll stand up to Tanya all on your own. You're going to have to if you want her to back down."

"Thanks Emmett. I think I'm going to get a shower so that I'm not as repulsive," I countered.

"I'm not sure the word we're looking for is repulsive… maybe… delicious?" Emmett poked me in the ribs lightly and I laughed.

"Sure, sure!" I mocked as I pushed him out of the room. I stripped quickly and momentarily wrapped a towel around myself. I pulled the door open and handed my clothes over to Emmett who hadn't moved yet. "Burn these."

"I might." He took them with a grimace that looked half pained and half, mental block, hungry. I slammed the door closed and walked over to the shower and began to loosen my towel. It hung by gravity alone over my back and came loose in the front.

I leaned over to start the water and a hand closed over my hip startling me as my reaching hand was enveloped in a larger one.

"Let me get that, if you lean over much farther I'm going to be given quite a show. You know, I'm starting to think leaving you alone is bad for my health." Edward's scent, which was slightly tinged with the scent of blood still suffused through my nose, invaded my senses.

"I'm starting to think it's bad for both of us," I admitted lamely.

"You aren't the one who's going to be missing arms," Edward commented dryly as he turned on the shower.

"Oh, please don't blame Emmett for this… He's only partially to blame, and he just has a big mouth. Tanya short circuited my brain, and you kept something from me. Something important." I turned in Edward's arms and he had the common sense to look guilty and away. I blushed as I drew the towel securely around myself. "Sorry."

"I would love to see more of you, but I worry that my self control isn't that good. How about I go in the other room?" He began to disengage from me but I held firm.

"You aren't getting off that easy. Sit. I'm going to get in, close the curtain, and you're going to talk…and not peek." I stepped over the edge of the shower and stayed carefully out of the spray as I took off the towel. I draped it over the curtain, apparently too far, and watched it slither away. I heard it slide to the floor. "Shoot."

"Are you trying to torment me?" My Edward asked with a slight tremor to his voice.

"Not on purpose," I answered back as steam filled the space and I noticed the blood from my nose was less bothersome. "If you can't be in here…I understand. I know there is a bit of blood still hanging out in my hair."

"You are trying to torment me." Edward's voice was shaky.

"No, I really meant that." I added with heat filling my cheeks. "Either way… You didn't tell me that Jacob ran off because of that! I can't believe that I ran him off, and I can't believe that you helped!"

"I had no idea he would react that way! I just knew what I would have wanted for myself. I'm sorry I've upset him…and I'm beyond sorry that I've hurt you. Please forgive me." Edward's voice had an edge of worry to it, like he was expecting me to cancel the wedding and run off to find Jake.

"I'm…not that angry. There's a chance that something else might have set him off if you hadn't. I'm just hurt that you would still keep things from me knowing that we're going to be…you know…" I stumbled over the words.

"Married?" Edward supplied helpfully.

"Yeah. That," I finished.

"Why do you always seem to make me feel like a villain when we talk about something pure and holy?" Edward asked through the curtain.

"Says the vampire," I added with a smile.

"Hey Edward…Bella." Alice's teasing voice was close. She must have let herself in, and I felt the draft seconds later. "I hate to be a stick in the mud, but since I'm back I figured I would make some headway on the final flower arrangements and that means that Yours Truly and Bella are going out tomorrow morning. That means that she's going to bed now. I'm going to bring the girls so that we can all get to know each other like a big happy family should."

I growled at the same time that Edward did and Alice laughed. I yanked the curtain open and Edward put his hand up to his eyes and ducked his head. I whispered angrily, "Are you nuts? I'm not going anywhere with the weird sisters as long as one of them is still jockeying for my fiancée!"

Edward smiled at my free use of the word fiancée. It was probably the first time I'd said it without stammering for a few minutes. He looked cute protecting his eyes and smiling like that. Alice wasn't fazed, she responded with a slight smile. "I knew you were going to say that, so I thought we might bring along one of the boys…you know…someone tactless that would remind them that we're having a wedding."

"Which one?" I asked with uncertainty filling me.

"Emmett." Alice answered and flounced out of the room. "You might want to put that curtain back if you don't want Edward to peek. He's going to…in about seven seconds… six… five… four…"

I yanked the curtain back. I wondered seconds later if she had foreseen this outcome…if she had not planned it. The curtain slid too easily on the shiny metal pole above us…and my force had translated through the entire curtain. It slid closed on the left side and wide open on the right. I stood dumbfounded and Edward blinked owlishly as the water bounced off my body and sprayed him. "Good Lord." He muttered.

No one moved for a while until I realized that I should cover up and Edward seemed to realize that he shouldn't stare. His face broke out into a very nervous but wide smile and I swore he would have been as red as me if it weren't for his complete lack of ability to turn colors.

"Pardon me." Edward walked out of the room in a rush. Part of me wanted to curl up and die. This was my fault though… I had insisted on him staying in the room and talking. I sighed, what was done… was done. At least I knew he'd liked what he'd seen. At least, he'd been stunned by what he'd seen, and he'd smiled. Now in some cosmic way Tanya and I were even. She'd seen what I'd wanted to see, and now Edward had seen what he'd probably wanted to see. I was the only one who wasn't getting what they wanted.

* * *

**AN: This story was nominated in the Best Comedy category over at the Twilight Awards website. If you would like to see all the nominees and vote, please click on my Pen Name at the top of the page and go to my Profile/bio Page for a link to the Awards... and thanks. **

**Please shoot me a review and let me know what you think about this chapter, too. I love to hear from readers.  
**

* * *


	4. Water, Water Everywhere

**AN: I want to thank everyone for being patient with me. The desire to finish "Escaping Sol" before the final bell is really strong. I've been posting like crazy for that fic and leaving this one out. I'm trying to be fair, but I've got the writing bee in my bonnet and that's my long chapter fic, so I should cultivate that. On the other hand I missed the lighthearted feel of Emmett so much that chapter 21 of "ES" felt more like this story for a bit. I felt like the family needed a bit of laughter… and that I could not miss out on having these wonderful family moments. **

**Thanks again to my wonderful Beta Cullenista! My comma coach. The fantabulous writer of "Blue Moon Over Manka's." She's got my vote! Speaking of which...**

**On another note, this story has been nominated for a comedy award. I really don't know if it's "that" funny, but more lighthearted. If you guys think it's funny, that's awesome. Feel free to vote for me! Please go to my Profile page for the link and information to vote.**

**Conversations With Emmett**

**By Ranma15177**

**Chapter 4:**

**Water, Water Everywhere**

I washed my hair and body slowly, conditioned my hair for roughly ten minutes, brushed my teeth so that absolutely nothing remained in my mouth but toothpaste and my mouth's respective parts (my poor bacteria had to have been killed), combed out my hair, put on Edward's shirt, combed my hair…

"Are you staying in there all night?" Edward asked through the door.

"Maybe," I responded.

Edward sighed and I heard a soft thump on the door just before he continued, "The bathroom floor will be a cold hard place to sleep."

"Don't care," I called back.

"Are you angry with me?" Edward asked sounding surprised. "Bella I promise you that Alice was joking with you and that I would never have peeked at you. Please come out."

"I know… but I like cold and hard. You're also forgetting the fluffy luxury of your bathmat," I answered with my own sigh. I wasn't coming out right now. Not until I was sure that I wouldn't spontaneously combust from embarrassment.

Edward interrupted, "It was an accident. I'm sorry. Please come back out. I didn't intend for you to feel uncomfortable. I won't bring it back up… we can pretend it never happened!"

That made me throw open the door. "Am I really that hard to look at?"

"No!" Edward had fallen into the room a bit when I moved the door and I realized that soft thump had been him putting his forehead against the door. "I just don't want you to feel embarrassed. I've never been more jealous of the ability to drink water before in my life."

Jealous of drinking? My brain kicked back into focus and my mouth, which had no saliva in it anyway thanks to my rigorous mouth maintenance, went dry like Phoenix in the summer. It was a dry heat. I couldn't even choke out a real response. I think my mouth might have been open but I couldn't speak through the shock I was in. I was too busy envisioning Edward… drinking…

"Oh, now I've offended you!" Edward took my hands and I wondered where his head was at. Offended? I'd never felt more desirable and completely turned-on by the concept of water. He spoke again, "not to mention…"

"No… I'm fine," I interrupted in a strangled response through my parched vocal chords. Wonderful! I mentally rolled my eyes. I sounded like an utter retard. My fiancée had just essentially told me he wanted to lick water off my naked body and I was "fine." Why couldn't I ever say anything sexy? I was doomed to spend my life, and maybe even my afterlife, sounding like I was mentally deficient if Edward was involved.

"Forgive me for everything? I don't want you to think I'm some sort of cad, and both of those moments seem to point in that direction…" Edward spoke quietly, as if he wanted only me to hear the confession. Maybe he did?

Maybe even in a house full of vampires where there were no secrets to be had we could have this awkward moment all to ourselves. Alice wouldn't tell anyone right?

"Edward saw your goodies… didn't he?" Emmett to the rescue; I would hate to think that everyone in the house couldn't enjoy this moment of embarrassment as a family. My future brother-in-law stood just over Edward's shoulder and smiled as big as he possibly could. Inside I withered from total humiliation. Everyone knew, and that meant that our visitors did too. Unless by some miracle…

"Tanya says that you can compare and contrast to see who you would rather be with now," Emmett continued. Nope… miracle safely averted.

Edward snarled. "Go away Emmett."

Emmett gave a nod and spoke again as he started to leave the room. "Sure, but since you came back early you should get some kind of _**satisfaction**_. Something to drink? Like a tall… cool… glass…"

"Emmett," I growled.

"OF…" Emmett continued over me.

"Stop it!" I yelled.

"…_water_," Emmett whispered. I all but leapt forward while Edward held me back. I'm not really sure what I would have done to him… but I wanted revenge. I found myself clawing at open air as Edward held back a flailing me and Emmett laughed and ran out of the room.

"Jasper! I might want to change my bet!" Emmett's voice boomed through the house. "She's gonna' be a hellcat!"

"Too late!" Jasper called back. "I'm psychic about these things."

"No… I'm psychic… you're both idiots," Alice called out from somewhere else in the house.

I heard laughter from downstairs. This house was ridiculous.

"That was one of the things I wanted you to forgive me for." Edward set me gently back to my feet and looked incredibly regretful. "Emmett isn't picking on you… he's picking on me. He isn't doing it to hurt you."

"I know he's not," I whispered back. "It makes me mad when they pick on you too." I wandered into Edward's bedroom and lay down in the giant bed with the soft golden cover as Edward turned off the lights. "It isn't right for them to do that to you."

"No… it's their form of getting me back. It's turnabout love. It's fair play." He spoke softly as he crawled into bed next to me.

"How do you figure?" I asked with an incredulous face. The shadows in the room were long from the full moon that was out in the somehow cloudless Forks darkness. I could see a slight sparkle from Edward's skin as he laid his arm over my stomach and traced patterns over the flesh on my arm.

"Well… you know that I've always said that I was content in myself?" Edward prompted.

"Yes, but what does…" I began to ask quickly.

Edward interrupted, "I was always the one to point out the deficiency in being coupled. The burden of having another person to have to check with when you made decisions for yourself and the ridiculous things that people do in the name of making one other person happy. I railed against it. I was always loving and devoted to my family in most ways… but I was disrespectful to their relationships. I see that now. They are actually being very good about it. I just don't want you to be hurt. Now, I understand that I was lonely, and biding my time until there was you."

"Don't worry Edward. I'm a tough girl. I can take some well meaning tongue lashings." I winked at my play on words. Finally! I had said something leading and I didn't sound like I was mentally challenged.

Edward looked at me with a wicked grin and then laid his head on my chest to listen to my heartbeat. "You know… I could come with you tomorrow as well. There is nothing written in the books about future husbands not getting to see the flowers."

"YOU CAN'T COME!" Alice yelled from somewhere in the house.

"The great Alice-ini says no," I supplied not so helpfully, although there was a part of me that really wondered why…

"Yes… I heard," Edward said with a slight bitterness. "Emmett can come, but I can't. Where is the justice in this world?"

"It's gotta' be around here somewhere. Have you looked under the bed?" I asked dryly.

"No, but I have seen under the covers… and I was right. You look absolutely scandalous in all the right places in my shirts. I'm throwing out your sweats," Edward whispered against my stomach.

"Touch my bed clothes and die," I threatened.

"That's going to make a physical relationship with you very difficult." Edward spoke back laughing.

"How about you go and I stay here with your shirts," I prompted.

"YOU'RE COMING, SO GET OVER IT!" Alice yelled from somewhere below us.

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" Emmett yelled from somewhere downstairs.

"SHUT UP EMMETT!" I yelled back.

There was more laughter from downstairs.

"GO TO BED, BELLA!" Alice shouted.

Ridiculous!

"Get some sleep love…you have a whole day of that coming up," Edward joked.

"I take it all back. You are a horrible monster," I said glaring, "You're trying to give me nightmares."

"I'm only a monster if it works." Edward looked up at me and rolled over pulling me next to him. "I'll tell you if you talk about it."

"Thanks. I would hate to miss out on anything funny I might do," I whispered back in a tone that I hoped he would still pick up on.

"Sarcasm never sounded quite so sexy before. Tell me how you do it." Edward brushed my hair back and smiled.

"Well…" I was about to continue when Edward began to kiss me. I was sure it was the most passionate kiss he'd ever given me despite being within all of our boundaries. When I was thoroughly out of breath Edward moved down to my throat kissing and gently trailing his tongue along my throat before stopping at the hollow.

"As a note… there is no comparison. I don't even have to take a moment of contemplation," Edward breathed into my skin.

"You have a perfect memory," I reminded him.

"Yes…and every time I close my eyes now I'm going to see you in the shower." He gently opened the top button of my new sleep shirt and kissed between my breasts where my heart beat hard against my ribcage in response to his actions.

"Won't that get a little old?" I gasped.

"What do you think?" Edward came back up to kiss my lips and I melted into his embrace.

I thought I was never getting to sleep if he kept touching me like this. I thought it was time to throw the rules out the window. I thought it wouldn't take long for me to get all of my clothes off with one shirt and a pair of underwear on. We kissed until I was breathless again.

"YOU'RE GOING TO HATE YOURSELF IN THE MORNING IF YOU DON'T SLEEP NOW BELLA!" Alice absolutely howled from somewhere in the house. I picked up an almost imperceptible double meaning there, and pulled away from Edward.

"Thank you Alice," I said out loud in a normal voice.

"She heard you." Edward whispered.

"I know." I closed my eyes and Edward gently hummed my lullaby. I dreamt of water.

**AN: I know what you're thinking right now. But Lauren, you say, Lauren! Bella hardly spoke to Emmett in this chapter! Yes indeed, but everything they said revolved around things that Emmett said. That's how I'm getting out of that one. : )**


	5. Falling for You

Conversations With Emmett

By Ranma15177

Chapter 5:

Falling for You

AN: To everyone who has waited patiently for this to be updated. Thank you very much. I wish I could write indefinitely. It would be a much more rewarding way to pass the time than auditing a hotel. : )

Thanks again to my beta Cullenista. Go read her "Blue Moon Over Manka's" because it's getting steamy and Bella/Edward-liscous!

Also a thank you is in order to coolsilverboi for giving me a line, as well as my ever loving beta husband Eric. Who also added a line where he thought I was lacking. : )

On with the show!

0-0-0)0

I felt myself come back into reality slowly. Mornings were always kind of hard for me, but I was pretty sure that once I was a vampire that wouldn't be a problem anymore. This was one more thing, in a list of thousands that I could scratch off my list of imperfections. I felt my body coming to life and as I slowly dragged my hand out next to me I noticed that I was alone in bed. Edward had left me unaccompanied for some reason. It was only natural. We had visitors after all… even if I wasn't particularly keen on them.

As my eyes slowly opened I came immediately face to face with a vampire, but not the one I was expecting. Before I could process anything there was a voice to go with the face.

"MINA! I've crossed the centuries for you Mina!" Emmett's voice boomed in my ear and I did the only thing that was rational. I pitched myself away from the voice. However, in my haste to get away I threw my body over the edge of the bed with a small strangled scream, the rest of the bedclothes, and resulting in what I knew to be a loud thump. Emmett immediately started howling with laughter.

"Ow…" I rubbed my tailbone and my hip and started to slowly rise using the bed as a support when I felt cool arms steadying me and I looked into up into Edward's concerned face.

I grimaced a bit when I stood fully and the soreness in my backside alerted me to a probable bruising. Edward ran his hand over the swell of my hip, looking to the entire world as if wished he could check to see that I was alright. My heart raced a bit with the concept.

"You should have seen yourself! One minute you're asleep, the next you're flying over the side of the bed. CLASSIC!" Emmett crowed, and I heard Edward growl. It was as frustrated a sound as I'd heard lately. He was actually really angry, and I could tell that Emmett's arms were in serious danger. Now… did I care?

Edward spoke with deliberate calm, "Emmett… you have a total of two seconds before I jump over this bed and tear you apart. I'm not holding back. I'll give the parts back to Rosalie over the space of a month, and keep everything in separate boxes so that you can feel the strain. One…"

Emmett was gone. I guess even he knew the difference between a joking Edward and a serious Edward. "Where were you? I know you can't stay by me every minute… but that could have been avoided if you'd just woken me up before you left," I hedged.

Edward looked immediately guilty, as if he'd been called out on a lie or done something that I wouldn't like. "I left your side at around three-thirty Bella. I wasn't going to wake you so early."

"Oh…" I turned away and walked toward the bathroom. "Excuse me, I need a moment." I mumbled. I walked into the bathroom and closed the door. Here I was, back in the bathroom. I should be embarrassed by the amount of time I was spending in here in a house where no one used the facilities, but I couldn't bring myself to care at the moment.

I felt a small amount of worry at the back of my mind. Why would Edward look so guilt ridden if he'd only gone to talk with the Denali's? Or… had he done more than talk? Had Tanya finally unlocked the secret to Edward's reluctance? What if she had talked him into more than I was capable of? After all, I was just Bella, and Tanya was an almost eldritch creature of beauty. I could admit that even if I didn't want to.

After using the toilet I turned on the cold water at full blast and washed my hands and then splashed my face with the water as I started to feel the telltale sting of tears. I was angry with myself for questioning Edward's trust, and at the same time I was ashamed that I wasn't more beautiful.

Tanya had looked at me yesterday and called me weak, and said that I would be impossible for Edward to enjoy, and it hadn't been too much of a leap of logic for me to know that she'd meant sexually. She'd asked Edward to compare our bodies… and somehow… he'd been able to do so. He'd seen her as well at some time. I shuddered against the small sob that was trying to claw its way through my throat.

No, Edward had said that I was the one he wanted, that I was beautiful to his eyes somehow. He'd said there was no comparison. I wanted to believe that Edward meant that in the positive way, and that his disappearance meant little in the grand scheme of things.

I got myself under control and wiped my face against a hand towel. I had to believe that everything was alright, and I had to believe in my fiancé. I walked confidently from the bathroom, an almost complete opposite look on my face from the way I'd walked in.

"Edward…" Edward sat frozen on the side of the bed as I addressed him. He looked stricken. Like he was waiting for me to tell him he was horrible. Oh, Edward… what have you done? I would never hold it against him if he had gone to her. I would die, but if it made him happy, I would surely never stand in his way. Edward deserved to be happy, and I was sure that Tanya had been right about everything she'd said. She would know after all… she was the "succubus."

The bed hardly had a wrinkle in the fabric despite my tousle earlier in its folds. It was made now and looked as if no-one had slept in it at all. He was such a complete perfectionist that I kind of wondered what he thought of my space, and how often he thought about what our shared space would be like. It made me smile, and as Edward looked at me his crooked grin was back in place. Then… it made me wonder if he hadn't finally compared my plainness to Tanya's perfection and found me wanting. I fought the desire to frown.

I sat next to him on the gold comforter and I took his hand. Edward seemed to take in the set of my shoulders, and the look on my face to see if I had just finally been able to channel my inner actress. The smile disappeared from his face like the sun behind clouds and he spoke, while I looked deeply, searching for the answers in his eyes… honey gold.

"I'm sorry that I left your side… I'm sorry I was gone so long. I wish I could say it won't happen again but both of us know that's not true. I'm a monster Bella. You already know that, but the fact that I have to leave you so that I can kill, it fills me with disgust. I shouldn't be surprised that you would find it disturbing as well… "

I felt an irrational sort of joy well up. He'd only been gone because he hadn't been finished hunting. He needed to be safe to be around me, and that had been the reason for his departure. Not to be with Tanya. I should have known! I wanted to slap my forehead in my moment of stupidity.

I shook my head and put my hand to his cheek, "Edward, don't be silly. I'm not upset about your needs, and I don't find you at all disturbing." I went back in my mind to the night before and remembered his almost brown hued eyes. He had been so thirsty, and yet he'd stayed with me while I was swimming in the scent of blood. "You were so wonderful last night, and it was despite me being so difficult. Don't think of yourself like that ever again Edward. I won't let you. We're going to be married, and if you're horrible, then so am I."

Edward sighed and pulled me to his side as he lay back on the comforter. We faced each other and I curled my legs up so that my knees and calves were pressed against his thighs. My fiancé spoke in a very quiet whisper. "I don't deserve your love, but I can't live without it. I'm so selfish… so completely self absorbed."

Alice broke in over Edward's morose rant, "Yadda, yadda, yadda. Bella, it's time to get dressed. I've found you something perfect to wear. Um… awkwardly enough… Irina left. She refused to stay with us. I guess she's still upset. Initially I was going to have Esme come as well, but she, Carlisle, and Jasper are going back out to the mountains to hunt now that things have been cancelled, so our party is down to seven."

"I'm probably going to go with them since I'm not allowed to look at the flowers with you," Edward intoned, "but I won't go as far, and I'll be back by evening."

There was a part of me that wanted Edward to stay out with his family so that he could achieve that gorgeous almost yellow catlike look to his irises. At the same time, I was only a selfish human, and the idea that I wouldn't be without him for the next twenty-four consecutive hours was alluring.

"Go… be with your family, and don't worry about me. Take whatever time you need. I have both Alice and Emmett to drive me crazy now. Rosalie still doesn't talk to me, but I don't see that as much of a difficulty... considering that she's going to be with you guys," I said with a small smile.

"Um. Bella. Rosalie is coming with us." Alice said in a small almost wary voice.

"Oh…" I trailed off. We still weren't exactly best friends, Rosalie and I.

"Alice, I've already told you this is a bad idea. Let Bella and Emmett stay home. You can drag everyone else to the mall or something." Edward supplied with an equally wary tone.

Alice's eyes glossed over for a second. "No, we're definitely going out to do the flowers today. If I don't they will get my order wrong."

Edward scowled. "That's not what you just saw Alice."

"It could have been. Now," Alice threw me my "perfect outfit" and walked out.

"What did she see?" I asked my voice dripping with worry.

"You looked fairly miserable…" Edward supplied with a look of worry. "I'm not letting you do this. It's insanity."

"Don't be ridiculous Edward. I'm a big girl remember? Let me find my own misery on my own terms." I joked as lightly as I could. "Besides… I have Emmett with me. How bad could it possibly get?"

"That's what I'm worried about…" Edward's voice was the lowest of whispers. "Please don't hesitate to call me if things get out of hand. I'll come get you in less than two heartbeats. I swear it."

"Well, as alluring as that sounds Edward you have needs that have to be met, and if you want this wedding to happen… so do I." I couldn't help the small bout of misery that entered my voice.

Edward smiled his gorgeous crooked grin at me. "Is this you? Defending our nuptials? Who are you, and what have you done with my fiancée?"

"Oh har-dee-har-har." I deadpanned.

Suddenly I was pinned against the bed, Edward over me and holding my arms above my head as he straddled my waist. His borrowed shirt was hiked dangerously at the top of my thighs. Anyone walking in would probably get a very good look at my panties. His eyes were dark with something I could only guess at.

"Edward…" I tried to scold him, but it came out breathy and with a little too much obvious lust.

"If I didn't know better, I'd think you wanted to marry me." Edward's eyes were trained on my own, and I couldn't help feeling that he could see into my soul.

The words were a whisper when they fell from my lips, "I do."

Edward sat back and looked at me with a sort of wonder. It was like the most wonderful secret had just been whispered in his ear. "You do… don't you?"

"I may not be "that girl" Edward… but I am _your_ girl. I want you, and that's how I get to have you. You say you're selfish, but you haven't seen anything yet." I hoped I looked up at him with a bit of a sexy smirk.

"Well… I've seen London." Emmett was suddenly over Edward's shoulder and I felt my cheeks burn.

"One…" Edward seemed to get back that look of fury rather quickly.

"Fine! Fine, I'm going, but Bella needs to meet us downstairs. We're leaving in ten minutes, and Alice said she saw what you two naughty kids were up to. I was supposed to stop you from doing something that I would condone." Emmett winked at me and I rolled my eyes and threw my head back. "Oh, and wear those. I likes 'em."

"One and a half." Edward turned away from me and I could just imagine the glare he shot my future brother-in-law. Emmett disappeared again.

"I'd better go Edward. You have somewhere to be too, right?" I prompted.

"Yes, actually Carlisle has been asking me if I'm going to be coming. I've been putting it off." Edward projected his voice slightly, "I'm on my way Carlisle. I'll be back before you know it darling."

He kissed me one more time with exquisite closeness, and then he smiled and was gone. I sighed. Like one of those silent film damsels and threw my arm over my face. I was sure that I looked overly dramatic. "Not soon enough."

I removed my arm from my eyes and dressed as quickly as possible, without injury. I had less than ten minutes after all. It was easy to brush through my hair today… apparently the secret was over conditioning. Alice had picked something that was very conservative. A knee length black pleated skirt that swished when I moved and a white sleeveless button down shirt.

I put my hair into a loose bun and came down the stairs with a spring in my step to see the skirt move. I kept my eyes trained on my feet so they wouldn't trip me and was startled to see a sea of people at the bottom of the stairs including Edward. His smile was almost heartbreaking in its almost thousand mega watt strength.

"Okay loverboy, you can go now." Alice nudged him and I couldn't help shaking my head.

Edward pushed through the women and Emmett at the bottom of the stairs to meet me. "Alice said you'd be radiant in this… and I was sure she was right. I just waited around to be sure." I felt embarrassed, but still kind of liked it. "I like what I see." He captured me in another fierce kiss… like the one from last night. I felt my heart slamming against its inadequate cage and when it was over it was too soon. We could have kissed like that for an eternity and I wouldn't have argued.

"Edward… are… oh, that's so sweet. Where's my camera?" Esme spoke from somewhere. I did see a flash go off, but I really was too brain numb for it to matter. What was my name again?

"Have an excellent day, my heart. Don't let them stress you out, and I'll devise something to reward you for your efforts later tonight," Edward whispered while getting down onto his knees and one by one adding a pair of espadrille sandals to my feet. He seemed to take extra care when he tied them to my ankles and ran his fingers delicately along my calves. I really was going to pass out any second, and when he placed a kiss on each of my kneecaps I thought I was going to hyperventilate.

"Give the ankle sex a break kid. We have to get going. Alice is about to throw a fit. That's a prediction of mine." Emmett chucked Edward on the back of the shoulder in a very brotherly way, and I noticed that my fiancé wasn't angry with him anymore.

Edward turned his smile back on me and then stood and turned to Emmett. "Take care of her for me. I'm trusting you," Edward spoke with an almost fierce edge as the larger vampire shook his head.

"Always." It wasn't their usual banter. They were being very serious. It was almost nice to see that they could not only be civil… but, for lack of a better word, brotherly. I saw them grasp each others forearms in a very swift powerful fashion that was loud and thundered like two big rocks crashing together. Edward winked at me and then he was gone again and Esme had gone as well.

Alice raised her pixie voice and shouted, "Okay people! Let's get this show on the road!" Her hands clapped together and I imagined an almost death bell quality in their finality.

I reassured myself, "Yep, this is going to suck."


	6. Jeepin'

Conversations With Emmett

Chapter 6

Jeepin'

Ranma15177

I have to thank Cullenista right away for her help on this and the other chapters I've been writing over the past week. She's matched me stride for stride and I wouldn't be able to do it without her. Also, I have to credit her for "death and dismemberment" tirade, which will make more sense when you get into the chapter!

Thank you everyone for your patience. I hope the next few chapters are worth the ridiculous wait time!

The Cullen's and the Denali's don't belong to me, but I promise to buff them out before I give them back to the true author!

On with the show!

--_+_+_+_+_+--

We stepped outside into the sun and everyone sparkled but me. Great! This was the start to a perfect day.

"Oh! That's too bad Alice, it's too sunny outside for us to go. We'll have to shop online. We can probably do that you know… shop for flowers online?" I prompted uselessly.

"Bella, we're not going flower shopping online. What if you like the way something looks and hate the way it smells? You won't know unless you inhale. Since the scratch n' sniff computer doesn't exist. We're going to the florist. It's going to get nice and cloudy in about fifteen minutes. By the time we reach Seattle it'll be perfect outside." Alice corrected me. "I'll get you a latte. It'll buzz you right up!"

"I thought Emmett was coming… and Elezar?" I supplied as I looked wearily at my day trip companions. Alice, Rosalie, Tanya, Kate, Carmen… where were Elezar and Emmett? They ignored the question. The two men were going to keep me from going into estrogen shock. Did female vampires even have estrogen?

They seemed to. They were all standing outside, sparkling, telling each other how great they looked. Oh, Alice I love that dress! Tanya, emerald is really your color! Kate, I knew you would love those sandals because Emmett loves them on me! Rosalie, I've never seen that necklace before is it new? Did Elezar get that for one of your anniversaries, Carmen? I felt like I was going to need an umbrella to deflect all of the false compliments. Of course they looked great… they were stupid, perfect, vampire women!

"Elezar said he wasn't going on any more shopping excursions with Kate a while ago… something about men… and window shopping." Carmen finally answered me with a kind smile.

"Oh… I'm sorry to hear that," I intoned back. I really was. Now I was down to one.

"I'll pass on your regards." Tanya rolled her eyes as she spoke to me for the first time this morning.

"That puts us down to…" I began, but then the big red jeep came careening around the side of the house and Emmett slammed on the breaks just as he reached the group. "The House of Pain" playing loudly on the stereo. The top was down and he had thrown on a ball cap.

The girls all jumped for the vehicle as I watched in horror. Emmett's Jeep was my least favorite of all the Cullen cars. It was huge, not to mention that I imagined that Emmett didn't much care about rolling it over. It was the only vehicle in the house with a four point off-roading harness for a reason.

"Come on Bella!" Alice gave me a happy grin as she remembered to shout over the stereo. She really was enjoying herself. She wanted me to be happy too. I knew that. Edward would never have let this farce continue if something good didn't come of it. At least… I hoped not. He said that I'd looked "fairly miserable." What was Edward's definition of "fairly miserable" anyway?

Why had he agreed to let me go on this frightful expedition if he knew I was going to be "fairly miserable?" How bad could the alternative have been? Death and dismemberment or would I have contracted a disfiguring disease and been forced to move to Tangeirs? I suppressed a shudder as I contemplated the chariot that awaited me.

How would we all fit? I watched as they sat… Rosalie, Alice, and Tanya in the back seat, Kate and Carmen behind them, where the tire had been, and now there was an empty space. Me… in the front, oh, joy.

I stared up at the door to the front seat and took a deep breath. The sandals that Edward had placed on my feet had a wedge heel, bless them. I wasn't sure how this was going to go down, but I was sure that if I tried to scale the side of the Jeep, I would be the thing going down.

"Oh… Sorry Bella, you can't get up here by yourself!" Alice was honestly chagrined. The snickering from Tanya, Rosalie, and Kate was demoralizing. Carmen smiled encouragingly. Emmett jumped down and raced over to me. He half threw me into the Jeep and stood on the rail as he buckled me into the harness. I was still getting my skirt into order when he stomped on the gas and the other girls whooped with a sort of excited "girls day out" kind of energy. I cowered a bit in apprehension… my scream was by far the loudest. It wasn't nervous energy though; it was a healthy dose of fear.

We went down the driveway at a speed I didn't even want to peek at. The Jeep bounced from the uneven ground and the music pounding in my head like a jackhammer. "You get car sick Bella?" Emmett called to me over the music. I shook my head no. It wasn't a usual occurrence.

"Emmett! DON'T!" Alice cried out with a little too much laugh in her voice to be taken very seriously.

Emmett suddenly yanked the wheel to the left and then we weren't on the road anymore. Everyone screamed for a second and then the laughing started. I was probably the only one who was ready to pee myself. Of course, I was the only one who could physically pee.

This was probably what it was like to party with a sorority. One guy, six girls, one Jeep, all screaming and laughing obnoxiously while listening to bad music; all the time ignoring safety standards and traffic laws. My father would be pretty upset if he knew. I wondered if Edward knew. As we bounded in our four wheel drive hell mobile I thought I saw figures in the woods.

There was a clearing for a few seconds, and on the other side only discernable to me for a few seconds before we were bounced again, were Esme and Carlisle. Edward's mother's arms were crossed in a fashion that said stop. Carlisle jumped literally onto the hood as we came to a very rocky, skidding stop. His voice was very disappointed, "Emmett."

It said a lot that we didn't have to listen to an entire speech. His name really was enough. I was hyperventilating. My fingers were white knuckled and latched onto the four point harness. If I had to get out of the car right now, the chair would have to come with me.

"Well… I told you to stop." Alice smirked from the back seat over the blasting stereo.

We sat in figurative silence for a few seconds; I think my teeth might have been chattering. It wasn't cold. I must have been in shock. Suddenly, the Jeep shuddered horribly to the right with an impact that took me completely by surprise. Edward's arm flashed into the Jeep, slapped the off button on the stereo, grabbed Emmett, and disappeared again. I knew it was Edward's arm through process of elimination, who else would or could drag Emmett out of the Jeep like that? Besides, I knew that snarl anywhere.

I heard a horrible crack, and watched as the two rolled into my field of vision. Everyone sort of sat by and watched. Edward rolled to the top and I figured out what the cracking noise was. It was Edward's fist crashing into Emmett's face. I saw Carlisle roll his eyes and step off the hood like he was stepping off a curb. There were some more scuffling noises followed by Emmett's laughter as they rolled back out of my line of sight, then an audible, "Ouch! Hey! Stop that!"

"That's enough boys!" Carlisle interjected.

"Get off my husband, Edward; I think you've made your point. No fun with the human around. We've got it!" Rosalie called in a scathing voice. I wasn't entirely sure I should feel angry about the comment. It might save my life.

I heard the shuffling stop and Edward was crouched next to me hanging onto the bar with one hand and checking my extremities for damage with the other. He slowly worked my fingers up and away from the harness, and started massaging the blood back into them.

"Are you alright Bella?" Edward asked with a very concerned look on his face.

"Fine… I'm fine." I forced out over the fear in my throat.

Emmett got back into the driver's seat and scowled at Edward. I couldn't help noticing that his clothes were a bit tousled and dirty. "She wasn't in any danger."

Edward snarled.

"Edward, it's going to be okay. I promise. See nothing's bruised, maybe except for my pride," I murmured quietly, acutely aware of the vampires behind me.

"I won't let him take any more off road jaunts, Edward. I promise." Alice looked at Edward with a very honest look in her eyes. I couldn't help but feel that she was being sincere, except this was Alice. She knew a lot about "changing conditions."

"Please, Emmett, you can keep your thoughts on that subject to yourself. I know Bella isn't made of porcelain. She's far more precious, and much harder to glue back together. If I have to visit a hospital because of anything you've done, Rosalie is going to have to get a manual to find out where your pieces go… and I might not give her all the parts." Edward warned with a scowl. He kissed my cheek and whispered in my ear, "I have my cell. It's on."

I nodded my head and my three saviors walked back into the woods. Carlisle's voice came out of the trees, "Please, do be careful Emmett."

Emmett started the Jeep back up and began to drive out of the woods. We were back on the street in a few minutes, and the sky was cloudy again.

"Why didn't you tell me Captain Sourpuss was going to jump me Alice?" Emmett asked.

I sniggered a little. It was a silly nickname. "Captain Sourpuss?"

"Yeah, well, he's more fun than he used to be." Emmett admitted.

Rosalie spoke up then, "Just imagine how much he'll loosen up when he finally gets…"

"Rosalie, don't be ridiculous. He can't have proper relations with anyone until Bella here becomes one of the undead. I could help you with that." Tanya's hand brushed my hair away from my neck from the back seat and I would have jumped forward had I not been strapped in.

"Hey. Don't touch! I've got it on good authority that Edward has first dibs on Bella's blood." Emmett taunted Tanya.

"Really? That's kind of kinky." Rosalie taunted back.

My cheeks were bright red, and I was frustrated already with their teasing. I didn't want to discus my "renovations" with the Denali Clan. It wasn't really their business.

Alice came to my rescue, "All right! Now, since Bella isn't having a bachelorette party, I thought we could have a bit of fun today." I had spoken too soon. I wondered briefly how much damage I would suffer if I threw myself from the Jeep at one hundred miles an hour.

"Can I be your Matron of Honor, Bella?" Emmett squealed in a very creepy, very accurate impression of Jessica.

"That would be the biggest no in history." I frowned at Emmett. "You took me off-roading in a skirt and espadrilles."

"I knew you would catch on to my fashion bug eventually," Alice joked.

"No, I just don't want to die in a skirt and espadrilles," I admitted. If I was going to die, it was going to be in jeans and a tee shirt. I should be comfortable.

"So, you've got an outfit planned for the "big day?" Tanya asked with a coaxing sort of tone in her voice.

"Well, Alice bought the dress, so I guess so." I responded with confusion. I was hoping that I was going to have a nice conversation with Tanya that didn't end with my wanting to tear her hair out. This seemed like a good start.

"You're going to do it in a dress?" The strawberry blonde asked again with a bit of faked surprise.

"Well. I wanted to do it in jeans and a tee-shirt, but Alice said that the whole drive-through thing was very Britney Spears, and that I was too nice of a girl for that," I answered back.

Everyone in the car started laughing. I couldn't be sure if it was me, or what I said, so I shut my mouth and my cheeks flared.

"Okay, girls, that's enough. You're going to make Bella burst into flames." Carmen cautioned from the back of the Jeep, and everyone grew silent for a second.

"You're right, Carmen. Bella, I want you to answer a few questions. Everyone gets one, and you have to be honest. I want everyone to get to know you better." Alice suggested out of the blue.

"Wait, that's not fair." Tanya interjected.

'_Thank GOD!'_ I thought happily in my head.

"I want more questions," Tanya continued.

'_I hate you,'_ I thought. It was supposed to be just me and Emmett hanging around in the house all afternoon. How had my day gone so horribly awry?


	7. One Hundred and Twenty Questions

Conversations With Emmett

Chapter 7

One Hundred and Twenty Questions

Ranma15177

AN: I've actually just been sitting on this chapter because I was laying my hardwood floors all week, and then there was a bed. I've been sleeping on concrete slab for the last four months. Try going from that to pillow top mattress and see what you'll be up to?

Thanks as always to my exquisite beta, Cullenista. She's written a few stories here on ff and she's keeping me busy with various bits and pieces of her story "Blue Moon Over Manka's." I love it… you will too! Go read it!

Either way, on with the story, don't own Twilight. Love ya'

+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+

"Let's set some ground rules," Alice giggled out as she prepared to ruin my life.

"Can I be in charge of that?" Emmett asked with an evil smirk.

"No!" I yelled out a little too spiritedly. Everyone laughed again. I took a deep breath and decided that this was going to happen with or without my consent. I could both play along and be friendly, or I could be difficult and make myself a bigger target. I had forever with some of these people. I didn't want to have them thinking I was uptight.

Even if I was…

Just a little….

"How about I set the ground rules?" I asked with a timid voice. Of course they could hear me, and I knew it, so there was no point in speaking up too much.

"An excellent idea!" Kate exclaimed excitedly. "You are such a liar Rosalie, she's much more fun than Edward."

"That's only because Edward knows what you're going to ask before you ask it. He knows better than to play twenty questions with a succubus." Emmett turned down the music as he answered back to Kate. I assumed it was so I could hear them all better, although with all the wind whistling around me, I was deaf anyway.

"How about the first rule being: you aren't allowed to ask questions about my non-existent sex life," I suggested with a raging blush in a quiet voice.

"Well done Bella, you've officially made me ten more questions that I hadn't even thought of," Tanya boasted with a smirk that I picked up on in the rear view mirror.

"I want the first question," Rosalie prompted.

"Okay, we'll go in a circle!" Alice couldn't seem to contain her joy at the concept of this totally embarrassing notion. What was she trying to accomplish here? Was she taking joy in my torment?

"What about me?" Emmett complained. I expected him to want to torture me… but Alice?

"Oh, fine, you go first Honey-bear," Rosalie conceded with a wink to her husband.

"Honey-bear?" I felt my eyebrow rise. Isn't it funny how we start to pick up the little traits of our significant others?

"I'll be asking the question thank you very much!" Emmett called over in a comical almost cop-drama kind of way. "Where were you on the night of the fifteenth?"

I thought about it for a second. "Emmett… the fifteenth of last month?"

"Um, okay?" He seemed uncertain.

"That was a stupid question. Let's move on!" Alice complained from her seat between Tanya and Rosalie.

"No, I'll answer the question. Hmmmm. July fifteenth. Oh! I remember, that was probably a pretty uneventful day. I went grocery shopping for Charlie and I. Then I made dinner. We ate, and then Edward came over. I fell asleep. The end."

"Okay, now it's my turn right?" Rosalie asked me for a confirmation.

"I guess." I spoke quietly back. I was worried about what Rosalie would ask. I was never sure about how much her dislike for me carried into social situations. She was never really one to pull punches.

I watched Rosalie's hair blow around in the maelstrom made by the fast moving Jeep and felt a kind of envy creep up. She was really gorgeous. Emmett was a lucky guy… now, if only he would stop watching her hair blow in the wind and drive the car. I would be safer and happier.

"What is your motivation for marrying my brother? Is it because you love Edward the man, or is it because he's Edward the vampire?" Rosalie asked very bluntly.

"ROSE!" Alice snapped at her sister and even Emmett looked at her with a sort of disappointed arch to his brow.

"No, it's okay. She has a question; I didn't say anything about a rule against questions like that," I interrupted. "Emmett you're going to make me neurotic. Can you please pretend to look at the road? We're going like a hundred miles an hour and you haven't looked down in the last fifteen minutes," I scolded.

The tongue lashing was honestly to give myself a little more time to think, but I wasn't sure if they would pick up on that. Emmett gave me a salute and stared at the road like it was about to do something fascinating. I wanted to laugh, but Rosalie's question was still burning in my brain.

"Rosalie, I promise you that immortality has NOTHING to do with my decision. There is something about Edward that touched me, that has always touched me. I've never wanted anyone or anything, I just wanted him. At first I thought I was crazy, and then I found out that he felt the same way. It was like fate. I didn't feel a whole lot of concern that he was a vampire… he could have been a mutant penguin for all I care. We have a connection that neither of us can live without. I just can't be the way I am and stay with him."

"Yes, you could!" Rosalie challenged with a bit of her ire showing in her tone.

"You could watch Emmett grow old and die?" I returned with the anger that I felt at her for making Alice's "get to know you game" into an inquisition. "You want Edward to suffer like that? You want me to suffer like that?"

Rosalie sat back, a bit stunned for a second. "No… I couldn't." She didn't bother answering the last two questions. Edward was right about one thing for sure; she was really self-focused. The beautiful vampire didn't ask or say any more than that, but I knew that she was thinking. I was kind of afraid of her next turn.

"Okay! My turn! Bella, you hate to shop. Why?" Alice's question was so mundane after the one Rosalie had asked that I almost broke out into crazed laughter. Almost.

Emmett did. "I'm glad that Jasper isn't here I bet he'd hate the emotional roller-coaster. Fun Fact Bella: Jasper doesn't go to chick flicks. Alice demanded that he go with her to 'The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants' a few months ago and he didn't recover for a week."

I stifled the giggle that was aching to burst through my morbidity and answered her question. "I don't hate shopping Alice. I've been shopping lots of times. I used to go with my mom, and I go with you all the time," I answered quickly.

"Oh, well yeah, but you don't like going out with me?" Alice asked. I pulled my wallet out of my purse to make a physical demonstration that she couldn't argue with.

"That's two questions Alice, and I do like going out with you, if I didn't like going out with you, I wouldn't. Believe me. Angry vampires couldn't drag me because I would have Edward as my constant bodyguard. I just don't like you spending your money on me. That's the difference. Now that I've got this monstrosity in my wallet there isn't anything I can do about it anyway. I will go shopping with you whenever you like as long as it's within reason," I defended. I waved my black limitless shiny new credit card with disdain… well except the part where it said Bella Cullen. I rather liked that, but I would never admit it out loud.

The card itself left me feeling a little sick to my stomach honestly. I'd never had anything like it at my fingertips. The little black card in my hand was limitless, endless, and bottomless; a small fortune that I never wanted to think about owning any part of no matter how much Edward insisted that I deserved it.

Every time I did think about this ridiculous card I started to feel sick. I was pretty sure that there was something wrong with me. What woman on the planet wouldn't want a bottomless credit card? Me, that's who!

Tanya's turn… I waited for the inevitable question. I winced as she began, "What's your favorite color?"

"Um… brown today," I answered. After a pause I expanded on the thought a little, "It's warm." I had answered both times with a non-committal sound to my voice. It was the color of Edward's eyes last night when he kissed me senseless, but I wasn't saying that out loud.

"Today?" Tanya prompted.

"It changes." I answered her in honesty. I hoped she wouldn't pursue the question.

Alice put her hand on my shoulder and I looked back at her as she leaned in so that I could see her. She seemed to be willing me to continue. Her look was serious, and I was confused.

"I…" The pause was painful to me. "It's the color of Edward's eyes today," I whispered.

"Oh," Tanya immediately answered. I thought I saw her smile for a second, but it really could have been a trick of the light.

"Hey Bella? Bella, what color are my eyes today?" Emmett asked while looking the opposite direction.

"I have… no idea. Sorry Emmett." I looked over and smiled sheepishly.

"You're so cruel to me. I'm carrying our child you know!" Emmett tried for shocking, but everyone descended into sniggering. Especially Alice.

"I think I would have seen that…" Alice giggled.

"Well… maybe I didn't DECIDE to be pregnant! Ever think of that?" Emmett pushed.

"No…" Alice seemed to be mulling something over, but then she shrugged her shoulders. "Congratulations Emmett."

"MY TURN!" Kate interrupted any further talk of mine and Emmett's love child. She seemed to be excited to cross examine me. "When did you know you were in love?"

It was a really difficult question. I had been fascinated with Edward from the moment I'd seen him. "That's kind of hard to answer. I loved him all along… but I guess… _I_ realized that I loved him right before we went on our first "real date." I made air quotes and looked back at Kate, struggling against the restraints. "I figured out what he was, and decided that I loved him, so it didn't matter who or what he was."

"That's really beautiful!" Carmen added as she smiled at me. "Carlisle was meeting with your father when we arrived last night wasn't he?

"Yeah, they were going night fishing. My dad loves to fish," I said with a fond smile. He really did.

Carmen continued. "Carlisle mentioned that your parents have separated. Did it make it harder for you to make the decision to marry? I know that mating for Vampires is a permanent thing, but humans are more inconstant."

Everyone had such difficult questions, and although I tried not to dwell on the last comment it stung a bit that she thought I wouldn't always love Edward even if I were human. "It's a little hard to wrap my mind around the concept," I agreed. "I saw how badly things can go between two people. I was afraid to tell my Mom about the wedding at first. She was always so against marriage in the past, you know, before thirty. She was always telling me to become my own woman first. I never thought she would give her blessing."

"Did she?" Tanya asked with a look that I couldn't quite place.

I nodded my head imperceptibly for anyone else on the planet, but I figured the vampires didn't miss much. I continued, "She really surprised me. Mom said that I was the most grounded person she knew, and that I'd probably been worrying over it more than most thirty year olds." She gave her consent right away, even though I hadn't really been after it. I would have married Edward with her consent or without it.

"Renee is such a joy!" Alice confided to everyone. "She just jumped in with both feet on the wedding. She's been on the phone with Esme constantly. Esme just loves Renee!"

"Esme loves everyone," I contested.

Alice was quiet for a second. "Yeah, I guess so. But, Renee is so sweet, and she's a doting mother!"

Honestly, talk of my mother lately had been causing me a bit of trouble breathing. I was going to miss Renee a lot when I was no longer able to see her. It hurt.

"What does Edward do all night?" Emmett asked before even a second had passed, like he knew. Maybe the pain had reached my face despite my attempts at keeping it carefully schooled.

"I don't know Emmett. I'm asleep," I answered with a laugh.

"Oh, right." He gave me a smile and a wink.

Emmett was helping me out. I knew that he would be an invaluable asset to this errand. So far he had been a real balm to what would otherwise had been a painful question and answer session.

"Rose! Ask her a good one!" Emmett looked into his wife's eyes and the speedometer reached one hundred and twenty. I really wished he would watch the road.

"Okay, I've got one. Why does Lauren Mallory hate you so much?" Rosalie asked with an honest look of question.

"Um… well, I was told by Jessica that it had something to do with Tyler at first. I don't believe it though. I think there are some people who just don't like you," I guessed out loud.

"I'm pretty sure she doesn't like you much either Rose," Emmett included with a smirk.

Rosalie smiled in an almost disturbing shark-like grin.

I considered Emmett's comment for a second before guessing aloud, "I'm pretty sure that's pure jealousy, and I don't read minds. The two situations are probably mutually exclusive."

Alice snorted out a laugh at the same time as Emmett.

"Who is Lauren Mallory?" Kate asked with a confused look.

"She's this girl we went to Forks High with," Alice answered quickly. "She's a real winner."

"She asked Emmett to prom our first year." Rosalie confessed with a wry grin.

"Really?" Tanya seemed flabbergasted. "I would think you two seem a bit exclusive, you know, with the way you paw at each other at every free moment."

"Kiss my…" Rosalie started while swatting at Tanya.

"Hasn't Edward ever told you?" Carmen interrupted. "He would know above anyone what someone's intentions were."

"Edward doesn't like telling other people's secrets… even if they aren't particularly kind," I answered. This made me look out the window. They must know him well enough to know something so ingrained. Were they testing my knowledge of him? "In my case, I suppose especially when they aren't particularly kind." I stole a glance in the mirror and saw that Tanya was focused on me as well.

"Emmett, you need to slow down. We're about to become a moving target!" Alice cautioned.

Emmett stepped on the brake rather harshly and we all jerked forward, but I was probably the only one who got a seat belt burn.

"Ow," I ground out.

"Sorry Bella, I hate getting tickets. It makes Edward smug," my brother admitted.

I imagined Edward's face and looked over at Emmett. "I can see that."

"Oh, splendid. You've bruised the bride." Alice whined with quiet indignation. "Now she's going to hate everything!"

"Wait… what? I thought we were going flower shopping. Why would I hate flowers because I had a few black and blue spots?" I asked with a sort of yawning pit opening up in my stomach.

"Well… you won't," Alice seemed to be reluctant to answer. "However, our meeting with the florist is at five."

I looked at the clock wearily. It was only ten thirty-five. "Why are we going so early then?"

Everyone in the car looked uncomfortable for a second except for Emmett who had an evil smile on his face.

"Well, I was kind of hoping we could stop by a couple of stores and pick up a few necessities…" Alice hedged slowly.

Why God?

Why me?


	8. Fearless

AN: Obviously it's been a while. I won't get in the way with platitudes, but I missed this and I hope you still remember me! : ) Thank you for reading. I hope this is a step in the right direction.

Conversations With Emmett

Chapter 8

Fearless

Ranma15177

"Alice… what have you done?" I squeaked quietly.

"Don't just blame Alice," Carmen interrupted. "The truth is, Bella… that we were extremely curious about the girl that captured Edward's heart. We simply had to spend time with you. In the end, we really wanted to see you by yourself so that you weren't nervous. I know how it must be to be young, and human. You worry constantly that anything you say might be misconstrued by your lover. Watching every comment just to make sure that you don't offend..."

That comment at that particular moment actually frustrated me. "I'm not any different when I'm with Edward," I defended. "If anything, Edward makes me, more…"

I really didn't have a way to accurately describe our relationship to them. I didn't have to really. Who were they to question my relationship? What business was it of theirs if Edward made me feel complete or at ease in my own skin? Our game seemed to be over, and now I was fighting angry tears.

"Bella doesn't lie. She can't," Rosalie drawled. "I've never seen anyone so completely fearlessly honest in my life. She's as much an angel as Edward is a demon. Although, in her case I'm sure it's purely by necessity. I'm in a bet right now with Emmett that if we're moving in the first five years it's going to be because of Bella's improvisational skills."

Rosalie's last offhand remark upset me, but for reasons that I'm sure no one would guess at. It was not because she was saying negative things, because I expected Rosalie to have negative things to say about me, but that these were some of the exact issues I was nervous about. I hadn't really voiced these concerns with anyone yet. Even Edward didn't know that I was terrified that I would be a liability to my family because I couldn't lie well; of all the things…

"Opposites attract," Kate jumped in as if to forestall any hostilities.

"Don't worry Bella; Edward will teach you everything you need to know about the art of subterfuge," Emmett spoke with wry confidence. "Everything it takes to be a Cullen: from fooling your neighbors into thinking you're just like them and not a bloodsucking fiend from beyond the grave to being intimate in a house full of people without them noticing… well… mostly."

I felt my cheeks flare with color. Did he have to mention the fact that we would rarely be alone when we were "intimate?" The concept seemed so realistic hearing it from Emmett's mouth instead of Edward's.

Maybe this was because I was too filled with adrenaline and human hormones to care when Edward said it. Sitting with the people that would, in theory, be the ones hearing any activities we might be engaged in really hammered the concept home for me.

It made me uncomfortable. I almost wished we were asking questions again.

"Okay. Now that we're all done with that, I'm going to ask the hard question," Alice seemed to have become the mind reader in my fiancée's stead. I wondered momentarily what my best friend would consider a difficult question. "What's your favorite food?"

"That's a good one," Tanya interrupted Alice. "I'm told you can tell a lot about a person from their favorite food."

"I like bears," Emmett said with a goofy grin. "What does that say about me Tanya?"

I gave Emmett a return smile and answered him instead, "Probably, if I had to guess, that you liked to play with your food as a child."

"I play with my food now," Emmett replied while he gave me a too wide grin that bore all of his flashing white glistening teeth. I felt a bit of unease slide down my spine but Emmett poked me in the ribs and laughed, breaking the spell.

"I like cougar. It's my favorite. Jasper says there's no difference, but I know better," Alice volunteered. "Jasper doesn't have a favorite."

Rosalie laughed and interjected, "I think Jasper has a favorite, it's called human."

"Touché!" Alice countered with a dramatic roll of her eyes that I watched in the rear view mirror. "You are so smart Rosalie! I never would have thought of that!"

"I love zebra," Kate must have been the official argument stopper, because she was once again steering conversation back onto the moral high ground. "It has a very unusual taste for a prey animal."

"Zebra reminds me of moose in the rutting season. Too musky for me, I prefer ibex if we're going into safari animals," Carmen supplied happily.

"Emmett! Do you remember that elephant you took down when we all went to Thailand?" Tanya's question was punctuated by a hearty laugh that even I joined in on. I could only imagine Emmett on the back of an elephant.

"Should I be afraid to ask? Aren't those endangered?" I questioned Emmett with a look that was attempting to be scathing, but failed

Carmen laughed aloud, and called out from the back seat, "Yes, but it was so ridiculous to watch… I'm sorry! Certainly this is an uncomfortable conversation for you."

"Not really," I admitted. It was mostly true. I didn't relish the idea of killing, but this is how they survived. I wasn't about to look down on it. I would be picking a favorite of my own soon enough.

"Wait, Bella never told us her favorite," Tanya interrupted.

I made to answer, but Alice talked over me, "it's not fish!"

"No, it isn't fish," I concurred one hundred percent on that. Charlie's affectation with fishing forced more different kinds of marine life down my throat than I was ever comfortable with. I liked fish okay… but the endless supply that we had in the freezer was just scary. I had the strange feeling that fish wasn't even my father's favorite food, but he loved going out and casting his lines into the water so much that it just went with the territory that he would eat it.

"Ever since I moved here it's been the mushroom ravioli at 'La Bella Italia." I answered with a small smile thinking back on why it was so special to me. "There's no question though, that before I came here it would have to be Tex-Mex. There was this place about a mile from my house in Arizona that made the best chicken quesadillas and burritos on the planet."

I remembered the burst of flavor on my tongue from the red and green peppers, the cheese, and the marinade on the chicken and I almost moaned in remembered ecstasy. My mouth watered at the mere prospect of what it would taste like on my tongue if I could have it. There was really nowhere to experience that kind of food in Forks unless I made it myself. It was always good when I made it, but it was always even better when someone else did.

I closed my eyes and tried to remember the night my mother and I had walked down to "La Hacienda" and discussed my going away. I had been watching her and Phil for weeks. My mother missed her new husband terribly, and I had wanted nothing more than to make her happy again. It had to be the saddest and happiest moment of my life. It was strange to look back at that moment and tie joy to any part of it.

I must have had my memories written all over my face, because Tanya took that moment to ask me another question. "What led you to all of this? I know that it had something to do with your parents… Edward has said as much. He refused to elaborate. I guess my question is, what was your life in Arizona like, and why did you choose to come here of all places?"

I was extremely surprised that the Denali's didn't know everything about me. Then I realized that the only times they had been appraised of my life was in times of trouble… or in times of difficult separation. I was probably not high on the list of things they talked about in certain delicate situations. A sore ache grew in my chest at the thought that there was a time in which the Cullens would have gone out of their way not to mention me, or even think of me, for fear of hurting Edward.

"I loved the sun." I replied closing my eyes and letting the blowing warm wind bring me back. "There was warmth there in my house, in the sky, in the very soil that I was afraid to leave. I didn't want to come to Forks, but I didn't want my mother to be without the person she loved. I wanted her to have the opportunity to find some kind of happiness since she'd lost so much time raising me."

"You can't possibly believe that your mother sees you that way," Alice argued on behalf of my wonderful batty mother.

"At that moment in time… I really did. She used to laugh about it, but I saw how hurt she was. My mom used to say that I was her bad boyfriend repellent. One mention of me had the bad ones running for the hills. Phil was different though. He didn't care that she had a kid, or that my mom was older than him. He saw what I did, my wonderful, erratic, and eccentric Renee.

"When Phil was gearing up to go out on the road to find a new team I told Renee to go too. I took her out to our favorite Mexican restaurant and told her my plans. She was only really worried for a second… and then her eyes lit up and she was planning. I could see her great adventure going on in her eyes, and I knew that I would do anything to make that happen for her…" I trailed off as I felt a small ray of sunshine peek through the clouds onto me.

My eyes flew open in worry, but I should have known that Alice would glimpse it in her mind's eye if we, or more properly, they, were in danger of being seen in the sun. They sparkled for a second on the lonely stretch of road and no one was the wiser except for me.

"You must love your mother a lot," Kate mused. "Do you worry about her now, knowing that you'll never get to see her again?"

"I…" These were the truths that were the hardest for me. Renee and Charlie were my parents, and I would never want to cause them any undue pain. This was the hardest thing for me to deal with, and I had been spending a lot of time thinking along these lines in the past few weeks.

With my impending wedding, I was sure these feelings would only strengthen. Was I abandoning them to pain? Vampirism and three days of agony was nothing in my mind compared to the prospect of hurting my parents.

"I will miss them. I want them to know I'm happy. I want my dad to know that I'm safe, and loved. I think my mom would be happy with the notion that I was going on my own adventure. I don't think she needs much more than that. It will be easier to make Renee happy than to make Charlie comfortable," I admitted with a shrug.

"Why do you call your mother and father by their given names?" Carmen asked with a perplexed look. "You are so concerned for them, but isn't it commonly considered disrespectful for a child to speak to their parents as equals?"

"I think it depends on the parents," I laughed in begrudging agreement. "I don't call Charlie his name to his face. I think he'd be thinking along the same lines as you. Renee though… she's been Renee to me for so long I don't even think about there even being a difference. I don't do it out of disrespect; it's just the way our relationship is."

Emmett interrupted my conversation about my complex parental situation with another question, "If train A was leaving the station at six, and train B was leaving at nine, and they met in the middle of Ohio at the same time…"

My future brother paused for a second and let a completely different question fly, "why do you insist on having sex with my already O.C.D. brother who is so completely anal retentive that he sorts his sock drawer, when you know he could look at you funny and break your pelvis?"

"I said I wasn't answering questions like that one," I spoke quietly back to Emmett, and tried to keep my blush under control. At the same time I smiled… I was sorting my sock drawer just two days ago myself, wasn't I? "I want certain things in my life to belong to Edward and me. I know that's hard to do in a house like yours, but I would like very much to try."

"Excellent answer Bella!" Alice clapped her hands and bounced in her seat. "Emmett and Rosalie just like everyone to watch. They're perverts!"

"I'm not a pervert. I'm just open with my feelings!" Emmett argued in a tone that screamed mock hurt. "It's just that the couch looked so lonely last Saturday, and Rosalie was so gorgeous with those little Jimmy Choo's on that I had to suck on her toes!"

"I believe I speak for everyone in the car right now when I say EWWWW!" Alice crowed with a sparkling laugh. Everyone else began to join in and when I too felt confident that I wasn't going to be insulting anyone, especially Rosalie, I laughed as well.

I realized that there was something that had never been cleared up when Alice called attention to herself earlier and I began my own line of questioning. "With that in mind… Alice… where are we going? What are we out here to buy? Why did I need a small army of women and Emmett to help me? Am I going to hate you when we're done? Can I still go home?"

"Hmmm. In order of asking: Shopping, flowers and some items for your trousseau, why not, no, and not on your life," the evil pixie answered with blunt and monotone words.

I had to think about the order of my own questions before I could respond back properly. "You know that speaking in French isn't going to fool me into going lingerie shopping right?"

"Well… I was hoping that it was one of the benefits, but that's been thwarted obviously. We'll go right on to plan B," Alice said with a small yet worrisome cackle.

"Plan B being?" I asked with a sinking suspicion.

"Dragging you kicking and screaming," Alice spoke with absolute sincerity.


	9. Social Distortion

Okay, so I've been gone for a while. A long while. I've been without a muse or a desire to do anything but read and avoid my writing. I'm terribly sorry to everyone that I lost contact with and to all of the readers who were actually pulling for me to return to this. I appreciate all of your kind words and lovely reviews. They are everything to me! Even though my silence made it seem otherwise. : ) Okay, I lied about the platitudes. : )

Now onto a little chapter I like to call:

Conversations With Emmett

Chapter 9

Social Distortions

Ranma15177

"Dragging you kicking and screaming," Alice said with absolute sincerity while she smiled with a wolfish grin that would have been home on Jacob's (twinge) face.

I already knew the answer was going to be something like that, so I just nodded my head and let out an audible sigh.

Actually, I had been kind of wondering when this was going to happen. I wasn't sure when or if I would get a look at the scandalous undergarments that the little imp would have insisted was fashionable for our honeymoon.

Alice had made only a passing reference when we'd been looking through a bridal catalog and asked, rather offhandedly, did I like this or that. It hadn't been all that painful at the time. I hadn't known about this little outing at that moment though.

"Bella… Have you ever been to a proper ladies apparel store?" Rosalie questioned with a look at Alice that said she doubted that level of initiation into womanhood.

"Sure. I've been to a few stores… you know, back in Phoenix." I spoke quietly, but it wasn't due to delicacy. I've been flirting with the concept that I'm an awful liar, but with a small taste of the truth wrapped in, maybe it wouldn't be so obvious.

The truth was that I had indeed been to a few lingerie shops with my mother when she was getting married. I didn't have to supply that I spent the whole time sitting by the door with my head in a pair of earphones and reading.

My mother, being who she was, had even gone about attempting to get me interested in a few less scandalous pieces myself. Renee's exact words, as I remember the moment with extreme clarity, were; "a woman can be wearing the most beautiful gown in the world and not feel sexy if she's wearing the wrong underwear."

I couldn't help the small blush that colored my cheeks with the thought that my mother had indeed talked me into a small purchase that most probably, as of this moment, sat in a box in Jacksonville, Florida.

It was by no means what I think Alice would consider being racy enough to entice anyone… but it was small and lacy and lacked the proper amount of fabric that one would consider appropriate for any proper underwear to have. It has also never been worn… and I believe I left the tags on.

Even the thought of that little shopping trip was just a little mortifying, and this had been done with the woman who ostensibly had seen me naked at every stage of my existence, and had passed me into the world through her own body.

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I watched Emmett's lips turn up into a wicked grin. The only man in the group had just made some kind of connection. I hoped it had nothing to do with Alice's plans, or my seemingly internal responses to them.

Emmett had a delighted look on his face by the time he spoke up. "It's always the quiet ones, right Rosie? Nobody told me that we're going naughty underwear shopping! Do I get to watch?"

"No," everyone intoned.

Rosalie glared into the rearview mirror and growled as she spoke, "I thought you wanted to keep your arms."

"Right! Do I get to try things on then?" Emmett asked immediately afterward.

"No," they all spoke in unison.

"No… wait, whatever," I said with a bit of a smile. There was no question in my mind that if Emmett were running amok in the store they would hardly find the time or inclination to pay any attention to me.

Emmett's face got a concentrated look, "What am I supposed to do then? I know you didn't just drag me along to have me sit in the car. I could be kicking your husband's butt right now Alice."

"Hey," the little black haired vampire glared at the driver. However there was a twinkle in her eye that suggested that she wasn't really all that upset. What about though, I couldn't be sure, and that was the bit that was really bothering me.

"Really Emmett, it isn't something that is going to be worth watching anyway," Tanya droned. I hoped I didn't let her see how insulted that comment had made me feel. "I see what you mean with the lying thing. That was just horrible." One more time, ouch! She sure was a brat.

"That wasn't a lie!" I defended. "I've been to a few different stores. I just didn't buy much. Or try anything on. Actually, I didn't really look at anything either," I admitted, because the cat was already out of the bag at this point.

It was the truth. I had just grabbed what was on the shelf next to me and it had been only by chance alone that sister fate saved me from having to actually look for something my mother would have approved of. I was back in my corner with my book before anyone could have said "boo."

Kate called from the back up to me, "It's all right Bella. I think that it's lovely that you and Edward are on equal ground. Coming into a marriage in a virginal state is unusual for this time period. I think that you're showing a lot of courage in upholding your morals to each other. Don't let anyone tell you that your way is the wrong one."

"I couldn't have said it better myself Kate," Carmen shouted above the wind. "What kind of expectation and temptation would a drawer full of silk and lace be to an expectant couple? It's best that you separate yourself from sexual thoughts. They will only taunt your waking hours, especially with it being so close to the wedding, right?"

Carmen continued, "In my time it was downright blasphemous to get married to someone without a clean visit from the matron of the village. It was considered disgraceful to marry off any woman that didn't have her innocence. I think it's refreshing to know a couple that waited for each other so patiently."

"I for instance, was completely unsuitable for marriage… and I still am!" Kate giggled from the back. "I respect your decision, Bella. Edward on the other hand… I have to admit I'm sad that he was not as forthCOMING as I wanted him to be!"

Everyone in the car laughed at the emphasis as I cringed at the thought of Edward being forthcoming with any of the Denali sisters.

"It is a sacrosanct communion of souls to meet in a virginal coupling. There are those that say that nothing else is seen by God." Carmen continued in a loud voice that had everyone suddenly quiet.

"Some of us weren't lucky enough to have that chance," Rosalie stated with an almost angry finality.

"That's not fair Rosalie, they weren't talking about you. That isn't what she meant," Alice said with a true sound of concern. "No one would ever say that you're not properly married!"

Carmen and Kate were looking rather green for a pair of the perfect undead. Everyone looked uncomfortable for a second… and then, Emmett spoke, "if a woman was a virgin when she was made into a vampire then she would still have her…"

"STOP!" Alice growled from the back seat of the jeep. "I don't want to explore this conversation with you Emmett."

"I think it's very scientific," The large smirking man in the driver's seat complained not at all believably.

Rosalie patted him on the shoulder, and I didn't have to look back for confirmation I could actually hear the smile in her voice, "We'll get you a lab coat baby."

"How come you're so sensitive about the topic Alice? Is there something we should know?" Emmett questioned with a raise of his animated eyebrows.

Alice seemed to bite the inside of her cheek for a second before making a decision and answering, "No, there's nothing you should know, and before you go haring off to Jasper and asking him, I would remind you that he doesn't talk about our intimate life with you or anyone."

"That wasn't a no," the big man next to me got an evil smirk on his face and looked at me as if we were sharing the biggest secret ever. Then he looked back at his supermodel-like wife and continued, "Did you hear a no Rosalie? I didn't hear a no…"

"Nope, I didn't hear a no either. Alice… is there something you haven't told me?" Rosalie questioned in a very saccharine tone.

It really never occurred to me that they would discuss things like this, especially Rosalie and Alice. Not because Rosalie didn't like me, and I couldn't picture her confiding in Alice. Okay, that was a lie. It was exactly that.

"No, we have a very dynamic relationship. Between Jasper and I and there are no 'boundaries' that anyone should worry about," Alice answered with a small bit of what I could almost call "timidity."

I sat there for a second trying to really recall a time when Alice and Jasper had been as demonstrative as Rosalie and Emmett. I immediately realized that even when Jasper had gotten Alice back from the Volturi, he had simply looked deeply into her eyes and taken her hands.

Jasper… was a gentleman. Not just the kind that people talked about opening doors, and helping a woman out of her coat, which I had actually seen him do unthinkingly a million times before at lunch that first year in Forks. No, he was actually adhering to the pre nineteen hundred concepts of manners. Jasper didn't indulge in any form of public displays of affection. They hardly held hands. My goodness!

"I see gears turning up there," Tanya suggested from the seat behind me.

"Alice," I began.

"Oh, not you too!" Alice actually seemed like she was exasperated… but I shook my head and waved my hands in a negative fashion.

"Your husband is a real gentleman," I stated. It was quiet for a second that seemed to stretch on for a bit. Had I accidentally said something wrong?

Alice bounced in her seat and nodded her head. "You've got that right!"

"Don't let them fool you," Kate and Carmen both laughed when Tanya stated this as though she were sharing a secret with her hand cupped away from Alice and toward me. "He gets off the white horse before they get in bed."

"Takes off the white hat too," Kate giggled as she pushed Alice's shoulder from behind.

"And everything else, when she is lucky!" Carmen cat called afterward which sent the three into an almost perfectly synchronized, "Ooooooh!"

"Not exactly… when she's lucky he leaves on the spurs!" Rosalie cried out with laughter.

I felt my face flame with embarrassment, but I still found myself laughing hard. In fact everyone laughed at that, including Alice who of course had something to say in answer, "THANK GOD!"

More cat calling and giggles descended from the back and from myself, and Alice didn't look at all upset by the not quite gentle ribbing she was getting from my awkward observation.

Emmett rolled his eyes, and then slumped forward onto the steering wheel. When he spoke, it was like those old cartoons when Superman is exposed to kryptonite. "Estrogen, getting too high… powers fading… must watch sports!"

"Don't worry Emmett, it'll all be over soon. I have that much on high authority. If I can get though it, so can you," I mock whispered.

"I didn't think you were having that awful of a time a few seconds ago," Tanya accused. "We can always go back to asking questions of you?"

"No thanks." I answered honestly. "I'm not that interesting to be honest. You won't be at all satisfied when you realize that I'm actually quite boring."

"Everyone says they are boring," Carmen accused with a laugh. "You are always boring to yourself. We, on the contrary, find you endlessly fascinating. Not just the mundane bits of your life, but to know the woman that could so completely ensnare such a complex man! You must be brimming with untold secrets!"

"We have known Edward for so many years, and we know much about the face that he puts on for everyone else's benefit. Yet we know so very little about Edward as a passionate man! The closest he allows anyone to view his passions, other than you it seems, is through his music," Tanya concluded quietly. "You are being granted a great gift."

"It's equal," Rosalie stated with more certainty than what I would expect from her. Especially seeing as she was against my most basic of decisions. "I've never seen Edward like this. Not once have I seen him in such a constant state of feeling. She drives his very spirit to take joy in the world again."

"Rosalie…" I was struck almost senseless from the ardor she showed in her voice.

Then… the beautiful blonde continued, "Which is really good, because I was going to start asking Carlisle when it would be medically feasible to remove that gigantic post from his ass!"

Everyone laughed again and I couldn't help joining in. "Okay, he can be a little… stiff… at times," I acquiesced.

"That's what she said!" Emmett crowed as the jeep turned off the freeway onto the streets of the city.

"You're just crass!" Alice stated with a delighted giggle.

"Crass rhymes with Ass, now keep your hands off my donkey!" the driver continued with a little too much glee.

"What in the world does that even mean?" Rosalie laughed from the back seat.

"I'm not sure. I made it up a few seconds ago, but I'll probably use it for the next ninety years or so. See Bella, you were here for the birth of an era." Emmett jerked into a parking space at Alice's behest and I was more than grateful for the prospect of being at the whims of my own feet for a while, even if they were completely ungainly.

Getting out of the Jeep was a little less mortifying than getting in because the Cullen family as well as the Denali's were in "blend with the humans" mode so they each in turn let Emmett help them out of what I was going to start calling "The Behemoth."

Alice smiled at me and took my hands once Emmett had lowered me to the ground. "We have parked in a spot where we won't be interrupted for any length of time for a reason. Bella, I'm really proud of you and Edward. We are all so very proud of you. Even those of us who choose not to be one hundred percent supportive for various reasons," at this Alice paused to glare in the general direction of Tanya and Rosalie.

"I'm not going to make you wear anything weird like a tiara or engage you in any strange ritualistic fun like collecting condoms. I want you to be able to see this day as a quiet reflection. I want you to feel free to talk to all of us about your hopes and your fears. Any concerns that you have, I want you to express them to us." Alice spoke with an almost angelic conviction in her voice.

My future sister ran her thumbs over my knuckles in an almost soothing gesture and spoke a little more. "Emmett is here for that purpose. He is here to answer on behalf of his gender, and although his answers may be…"

"Poetically and justifiably enlightened," Emmett burst in.

Everyone looked at the large man with us with varying looks of humor and disdain. Although to be honest I think everyone was laughing.

"Colorful, I was going to say colorful. He will be honest with you and you can't possibly ever upset his feelings of modesty. Edward is guarded in what he says to any woman, and I understand feeling uncomfortable speaking with Carlisle about more delicate subjects. Although in time you will lose that, and you'll find that both Carlisle and Esme are more than just excellent mock figures of authority. Jasper is uncomfortable speaking about intimacy with anyone but me… and sometimes that is a stretch." Alice rolled her eyes as she said the last bit. I wanted to know that story, that one right there.

"I want you to know that your family is not only on your side, but we are your best resource. We are a vast library of experiences and thoughts, and I want you to know that you have access to that library at any time for any reason. Everyone that is here has agreed to help you on your journey in their own way," Alice finished.

After a moment I realized that I had tears building in the corners of my eyes.

It was also a surprise when, of all people, Rosalie wiped the tears off my cheek. She smiled in an almost friendly way and spoke, "You two are going to be wonderful together. It's not hard to see. It might be hard for me to accept your decisions, but it isn't hard for me to admit that. I'm not going to be all that sad to see depressed Edward go either. He was starting to get on my nerves for the last few decades or so."

"I would never want to be on your bad side Rosalie," I spoke earnestly.

"Let's see what we can do about that, shall we?" Rosalie asked in what I would definitely consider to be a speculative tone.


End file.
